Jacques family reaches the 2000’s

The dawn of the new century did not shine bright on the Jacques family. By early January, it was apparent that my mother’s health was in fast decline. By the first week of January, it was clear my mother would not make it to her surprise party. I’d already sent out all of the invitations, so I had to cancel all of our plans and turn around and call everyone, explaining the situation. Instead of coming to her birthday party, they’d be coming to tell her goodbye.  Several of her girlfriends from school came to Stockton to visit her. I believe every single family on my dad’s side of the family arrived. It is difficult to remember everyone as one day slid into the next over the course of the next two weeks. The one person who had been my best friend was preparing to leave us. I don’t have enough time in the day to explain my relationship with my mother, but I spent every possible minute with her that I could, and I won’t ever regret it.

Of course, it was most difficult on my father. My parents had such a great love for each other. They knew each other as well as one person can know another and loved each other through every up and down imaginable.

Ruby Mae, whose father had nick named her Jubie, returned to her first family on February 1st, 2000. I know my Grandma Flora, my Grandpa Charles and my Aunt Jean were all so happy to have her home again. I was not. But I had two children, one seven and the other just past his second birthday. I would have to push forward.

The day mother passed away, Jackie and I had been sitting at the end of her bed. No one had left mother’s side and we had simply rotated, taking turns to just sit near her. When she stopped breathing, it was the absence of sound that shocked me. I felt as if I were in a magnifying glass that had been scrunched tight then turned upside down. When it was flipped back, my life was no longer felt the same. Mother’s hospice bed was in the dining room and everyone had lined up to kiss her goodbye before they took her out.  I bent over and kissed her forehead, but my tears rolled onto her cheeks. Dad had been standing behind me and said, “See that? Your mother doesn’t want to go. There are tears rolling down her cheeks.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him they were my tears.

Mother’s funeral was well attended, and she was laid to rest at Cherokee Memorial Park. My dad was already suffering from Parkinson’s disease and thus he had a tough time getting around. He was still driving, just to the store or he’d meet me at church on Sunday morning. Eventually he moved into several different senior apartments.

 

The following summer my nephew Eddie got married in North Carolina. We all flew to North Carolina, including Dad. I left Taylor here in California, as she was in my cousin’s wedding and I would be returning in time for that ceremony. Jacques stayed with his Grandma Bennett.

When I got back to California, summer was ending. I’d taken you kids to the pool when I realized my bathing suit had shrunk. I thought that was so odd.

A month later, I was laying on my back in bed on a Sunday morning when I felt Hailey kicking inside of me. I was so shocked. Truthfully, it was the best thing that could have happened to Dad. He was so pleased with that new baby. I was in a quandary. I wanted to name Hailey after my mother, but I also knew Momma wasn’t fond of her name Ruby and I didn’t know if I could put the name Jubie on a little baby. I settled on Hailey J. Marie Bennett.

Dad, Taylor and Baby Hailey visiting Grandma Jubie’s cemetery

I finally gave Hailey just the letter J for her Grandmother. Papa was so damn happy and loved spending every minute with her he could. He would also say Hailey was stubborn. Boy, he exactly right. But Dad’s health problems progressed. I moved him into our home while he waited for another apartment to open up, one where he could have increased care.

In 2001, my brother Tim took Dad on a cruise with Aunt Fran and Uncle Don. His health had declined but my brother was certain he could handle taking dad and he did. He did such a great job taking care of Dad. I can’t even tell you how close Tim became to Dad and my mother would have been so proud of my brother. Dad had a great trip. Tim would push Dad up to the casino and he’d play black jack for as long as he liked. Dad won a ton of money, too. It was a memorable trip.

Dad’s first great-grandchild, Kylee Marie O’Shea had been born and Dad was so pleased with that baby too. Those new little lives put a spark back in Dad. Also having Dad live with me really gave me an opportunity to learn how to cook chile. I had watched him do it a million times but now, he’d sit on a stool in the kitchen, next to the stove and show me step by step. I am so fortunate. Although I’d lost my best friend, I turned that role over to Dad. Jackie and I would never have gotten to know him so well with Momma here and that was a great silver lining.

Dad and Great-Granddaughter Kylee

When my Dad turned 75, I had a birthday party for him. He loved his children and grandchildren and we took lots of pictures together.

Jim Kosich, Jackie, Laurie, Tim, Me, Cammie, John Kosich and Dad

Papa holding Hailey, Taylor, Tara and Kylee

 

Dad had booked another cruise for 2003 but by February, the doctor decided Dad was too ill to go on the cruise. Dad had already paid for the trip and wanted me to take the cruise with Tim. First of all, I would be leaving Dad and all three of my kids. That was tough. I was worried Dad wouldn’t make it until I returned. But he assured me he would be here when I got home. So glad Jackie would visit him while I was gone too. It was a great cruise but very difficult to relax.

My husband did a great job. He took care of the kids, with his parents’ help, but he also took the kids to see their Papa while I was gone. It was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me.

I returned home to find that dad’s decline was real. It was time for him to go into a rest home. We had him moved and it wasn’t long before Dad’s time was small. By the last week of his life, I called my relatives to come and say goodbye to him. But his humor didn’t leave him, not even at the end. Toward the last days, we were sitting around his bed and he asked for a coke. Paul went off to get a soda from the machine and when he returned with a Pepsi can, my Dad joked, “I said Coke.” Daddy had a fun sense of humor. Dad left us on June 30, 2003.

Me, Dad and Mom in the 1980’s

Both of my parents were gone. So many great things happened for our family over so many years and the sadness will continue, but my parents go on. They really do. When I see Hailey’s eyes light up at gossip, I think, lord, my mother continues.

My parents surely must have been watching the World Series in 2010, 2012, and 2014. My Mom would have jumped ten feet off the ground. Damn, she loved her Giants. That continues through each of us.

Where do we go from here? We go forward. We can’t go back. Every once in a while, I’ll have chile and beans and think, damn, Dad would have appreciated that meal. Or I see a Twinkie and laugh, cause Momma loved Twinkies. Our life wasn’t perfect. My parents weren’t perfect. But we had the best parents for us. We came from a great love. That continues. You children will continue. My parents would have been very pleased, indeed.

Our Family through the years

 

The original three haha

Young, and in love

 

1990’s Tim and Jubie Jacques’ family

The 1990’s arrived and found my parents in a new town. They had moved to a retirement community, just south of Red Bluff, CA and east of Corning, CA. Corning was the area where Mother had moved to as a child in mid-1930. Rancho Tehama was down a very long 10 mile drive off Interstate 5, then past a cow pasture and up into the foothills. The houses were mostly mobile homes and Mom’s property had about a half-acre of land, on a hillside.  Their home had two bedrooms and a built in hot tub. There was one bathroom.

 

One of the consequences of our parents moving was Aunt Jackie moving into her own apartment. With our parents gone, her apartment was very close to our duplex and thus she came to our house all the time. We all traveled to Mom’s a lot.

In fact, when I was very pregnant with Taylor, about 8 months, we’d driven to Rancho Tehama for the weekend and traveled with Aunt Jackie. She was driving my car back, Paul was in the front seat and I was laying in the back seat (I wasn’t feeling great). We had our windshield busted out by a bird. It was very scary. We pulled over on the median and then I drove home the rest of the way, busted windshield and all.

 

Max Theodore Dodson was born on September 22, 1991 and the following year, Taylor Carson Bennett was born on September 14, 1992. We went to Rancho Tehama a lot when they were little. It was a three hour drive from Stockton. We traveled constantly.

We’d arrive on Friday night at 10 p.m., as we left when Paul got home from work at 7 p.m.  Mother would be in bed already and Daddy would be up watching t.v. but really he was waiting for us to arrive. Momma would come out to say a quick hi then straight back to bed. We’d get up on Saturday and they’d make a huge breakfast about 11. By the afternoon, I’d be playing Scrabble with my parents. The house smelled of cigars, as Daddy smoked his cigar while playing at the table.

For dinner, they’d make steaks marinated in olive oil and garlic. The smell of the barbeque always made your mouth water. There were twice baked potatoes and garlic bread. They were such great cooks.

 

By Sunday, we’d run to Red Bluff to grocery shop. I loved that little town. It was very quaint.  That was really when Walmart became a big box store and we’d shop at the one in Red Bluff because it was the only place in town to get what you needed. On the Fourth of July, we’d go to town for the fireworks display. The whole town showed up and the fireworks were shot over a pond. There was only one movie theater and we’d go there during the summer.

Mom and dad had a huge satellite dish, in order to get all of the television channels that they wanted to watch.

Daddy planted vegetables and fruit, along with tulips. My dad planted flowers at every home they lived in.

My parents started traveling. The year Tara was five and Eddie three, my parents had taken them to Disneyland. I got to go on that trip as the teenager so that I could take them on the rides. This time, in the early 1990’s, my parents had purchased a van and took all five of their grandchildren to Disneyland. Tara was 15, Jim was 14, Eddie was 13, and Anthony and Nick were both 10. They had such a great trip. Of course, Nick and Tara fought the entire trip. It happens.

 

The 1990’s is the decade my parents took a trip back east. Mother had been wanting to travel so they got in their van and drove from California to New York to view the autumn colors. They stopped at my cousin Dickie’s house in New York. My parents got the biggest kick out of that visit. Dickie took them to where he worked in the Senate, and they were very impressed. They thought Lorraine and the kids were great. But mostly, my dad was so damn proud of Dickie and he knew his brother Epie would have been so damn proud of him too.

 

They also took an Alaskan Cruise. They absolutely loved Ketchikan, Alaska.  They were very impressed with all of the ice and of course, made wonderful cruise friends. That’s how my parents were, they could make friends anywhere, with anyone.

They also took a trip to Alabama along with my Aunt Kay and my cousin Cynthia Paulson. They visited with all of my Grandpa Hardin’s relatives and my mother was happy to meet so many cousins. Most of them were redheads and Mother fit right in.

 

Lenny Holmes, Cindy Wilkinson, Kay Paulson, Tim and Jubie and all that is left of the fireplace where Charles Hardin was raised in Alabama

House as it was when Charles Hardin lived in Falkville,AL

They also took a cruise with Aunt Fran and Uncle Don. They were the best of friends and just had such a fantastic trip together. Of course, when Mother traveled, (prior to everyone carrying a cell phone) I would go for days without hearing from her and it would drive me crazy. It drives me crazy now, not being able to call Momma. In Dad’s video, you can hear Uncle Don say, “Jubie, phone’s for you. Cookie’s calling you again”. Hahaha. That video made me laugh. As much as it makes me cry, it makes me laugh too. Yes, I’d called Uncle Don like seven times while Mom and Aunt Fran were shopping. I might have been a bit impatient.  And Uncle Don loved me.

Aunt Fran and Mom

Every time my parents would go on a trip, I’d go stay at their place for a weekend while they were gone. It was never as fun when they were gone.

We also made more than a few trips to New Mexico. The first, when Taylor was just 6 months old. Here she is at the Grand Canyon on our way home.

The next New Mexico trip was in 1996, when Taylor was four. Tim, Jackie and Paul and I along with Taylor, Cammie, Jim and Nick met up with Mom and Dad. They’d driven with Eddie. It was a great trip.

Aunt Lucy, Mom, Taylor, Dad

Cam, Nick, Jim in New Mexico

For as much as they loved living in Rancho Tehama, Momma kept her doctors in Stockton. Consequently, she would come back to Stockton every time she had a doctor visit, so in between our trips up there, they’d come back and stay a day or two at a time.

Laurie, Taylor, Max and Dad

Dad, Mom and Baby Dana Madsen

When I was pregnant with Taylor, Momma and Daddy came and stayed for about a week, driving us to the hospital. I went into the hospital and my Mom and Dad took your dad out to dinner. I was perturbed, to say the least. I thought it very unfair that I was laboring away and my parents decided he needed to go eat. Haha, makes me laugh to think of it now. With the pain my mother had, I knew it was very difficult for her to sit at the hospital hour after hour with me. Part way through the night, she had to leave for a few hours but Maxine stayed with me. See, Momma was very happy that Maxine was strong and resilient and able to sit for the long hours my mother couldn’t.
After an emergency C-section, my Mom and my Mother in law were outside of the nursery window, waiting for Taylor to be brought out, along with your aunts, and they both started screaming and jumping up and down when Paul came out with that baby. Paul couldn’t figure out how they knew it was a girl but that pink knit hat had given it away. Gosh, they were so happy. Taylor was the first Bennett granddaughter (followed by Lauren, then Hailey) and the second for my mom and dad. They took us home from the hospital, too. Mother let my dog, Buddy, smell that new baby, then told him that she was ours. Buddy was a very good dog and the only time he misbehaved was licking Cheerios off Taylor’s fingers.

In 1995, we had a 40th birthday party for Tim. That was a very fun day.

Mom and Dad had a good run living in Rancho Tehama.

Taylor and Max

1996 New Years Eve. I let Taylor stay up. Mom and Dad had already gone to bed but got back up for the New Year.

Mother battled health problems for the entire decade.

Two more great events occurred in the 1990’s.  Aunt Jackie and Uncle Roger got married on September 27,1997.

Jackie and Roger

Jim and Stefanie got married on December 28, 1997 in Monterey, CA and then had a church wedding on November 28, 1998. Taylor was the flower girl in each of these weddings.

Eddie was supposed to be in Jim’s wedding but Eddie had enlisted in the U.S. Army and thus missed the service. Anthony filled in for his brother.

These were the last big events my parents were to participate in.

Me, Tara, Jackie, Laurie, Cammie, Momma and Taylor

The last grandchild to be born while my mother was alive was William Jacques Bennett. I had toyed with the idea of naming him William Charles, after my grandfather but then I thought about it and really liked the idea of naming him our family name.

Brand New Jacques being bathed by Aunt Cammie and Grandma Jubie in the sink

Taylor, Ed, Anth, Nick, Max and Jim

The one event that crystallized our family life in the 1990’s was the year we all celebrated Christmas at my mom’s house. I don’t think Jacques was born yet, but every member of our family was present. Usually there would be someone missing from a holiday, but that Christmas, each and every one of us was present.  All nineteen of us, under one roof. And yes, one bathroom. That was a hell of a holiday. My mother was so damn happy. We sang songs, ate Christmas dinner, opened gifts, it was every holiday movie rolled into one, much to my mother’s delight. There were people sleeping in every room. Mother had the kids make Christmas lists for her and then she purchased every single item on the list. She said she needed to spoil them while she could.

 

In the last three years of the 1990’s, Mother’s health really deteriorated. She had a new tumor and we found that the cancer was active again and had spread to her brain. She was 69 years old and was coming up on a big birthday. By the new decade, she would be turning 70 years old. I had another  great brainstorm…we should throw Momma a big bash for her birthday. It was going to be a surprise party and I had her invitations designed. Unfortunately, the party was never meant to be.

 

The turn of the new century was kind of weird. Everyone thought that the whole Y2K thing was real, that at midnight, all of our computers would explode, that the internet would self-destruct and that time would stand still. It didn’t. Paul and I went to dinner on New Years Eve with Momma and Daddy at Stockton Joe’s. Then we picked up the kids and took them back home. But in a way, time did stop for us. Momma had brain surgery, trying to eradicate the cancer. It didn’t work. She and Dad had been forced to sell their home in Rancho Tehama and move back to Stockton. We spent our last Christmas together, as a family, in a small rental home here in Stockton on East Benjamin Holt Drive.

Growing up, my mother had been very particular about her Christmas Tree. She always liked a Silver Tip Christmas Tree. I went out and bought one with elegant branches and that Christmas Tree smell.

I hung all of her lovely decorations and then tinsel, strand by strand. We tried to make it the best Christmas we could. But there was a pall in the air, one that we couldn’t run from, couldn’t hide from, one that would change us forever.

Jacques, Taylor and Grandma Jubie

Jacques family in the 1980’s or the Party Decade

By the dawn of the 1980’s, we’d moved to Stockton, CA. My Grandma Tonita had passed away in the 1970’s, but by the 1980’s my Grandma Flora was ill. After my Grandfather Charles’ heart attack and passing in 1960, she had remarried in 1965. She had married Neil True. My mother wasn’t fond of him, but got along with him, for my grandmother’s sake. We all called him Pappy.

By 1980, Grandma Flora was 78 years old, had suffered a stroke and was then diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother moved her off the hill where she lived in Nevada City, and moved her into a small duplex off of Quail Lakes. Pappy had health issues too. Aunt Kay took care of all the bookwork/banking for them, so my mother took care of Grandma and Pappy. My mother was very close to her mother and she did her level best to take good care of her. However, it was difficult for her to deal with Pappy. My mother would hire someone to take care of Grandma Flora and Pappy would fire them. My mom took a lot of stress from him. Eventually, my mother gave in and she cared for Grandma and Pappy herself during the day and I would get done with school and go and stay there at night, taking care of them. They were mostly asleep the entire time I was there, however I did make them dinner, help them get into bed and then sleep over.

We finally found a nurse that was a godsend. Her name was Emily. Suffice it to say, Grandma Flora liked Emily and so Pappy wasn’t able to fire her.

My mother’s time was consumed by her parents. However, Momma also had three grandchildren with whom she spent a great deal of time.

 

When we moved to Stockton, Tara Lynn was about two years old. There was a double fireplace that went from the family room to the dining room. Tara would peek through the fireplace and say, “I see Papa through the willow”. Willow was her name for window. She was such a cute baby.

Tara Lynn in front of the “Willow”

By 1982, Grandma Flora was very ill and not doing well. She finally passed away on May 22, 1982. My mom was devastated. I’ll never forget the sight of her laying on her bed, sobbing. As soon as my grandmother had passed, Pappy’s “family” had arrived to take over with Pappy. They immediately wanted all of the money in Grandma’s account and began packing up their things, including Grandma’s belongings. My mother was so incredibly hurt. She internalized all of the stress and pain

At one point, my sisters and I may have broken into my grandmother’s home and retrieved everything of hers that we could. We may have.

My father squired mother away for a brief trip, hoping to get her back on her feet.

Eventually, Pappy’s family took him to Washington to live out his days. However, once he, too, had died, they shipped him back to California so that he could be buried with Flora.

A short time later, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Mother felt certain that she had developed the cancer from the extreme stress she had suffered. She was probably correct. She also found out she was suffering from diabetes. She had a mastectomy then had radiation and chemotherapy. She fought back.

Eddie, Jim (Dad in the background) in the front yard of Harper’s Ferry Ct.

I used to play Scrabble with my parents. We’d sit at the kitchen table and play for hours at a time. We had such a great time playing that damn game. My mother was difficult to beat. She’d really get a thrill if she got a great word score. She was very competitive and found it impossible to hold back and then my dad would get tired of losing and decide he didn’t want to play any more. So my mom would think about letting him win but she just couldn’t do it. We played games all the time including Dominos, Black Jack, Thirty-One, Poker, and Uno. But we’d always go back to Scrabble.

I graduated from high school in 1983

My parents had two more grandchildren, Anthony Laubenstein and Nicholas Stromgren.

John, Laurie, Dad, Mom, Jackie, Cammie, baby Nick, Tim, me, Rich, Tara, Jim and Eddie

My dad had been working in the Bay Area when we moved to Stockton and he continued to do so. He’d drive down to San Jose on Monday morning, some weeks he’d stay there for the entire week and then return to Stockton on Friday night. We lived at 3218 Harper’s Ferry Court. They were very happy to be back in the town where they’d met.

 

I met your dad, Paul, in 1984. We’d dated for several years then became engaged. My mother took my mother in law Maxine out to lunch by themselves. I was kinda worried about it but my mother drove them to the Nut Tree in Vacaville for a lovely lunch (as my mother was inclined to do). When they returned, I asked my mother what they talked about. She was cagey, just said that everything was fine. Truthfully, I think my mother was trying to gauge how Maxine would be as a Grandparent. I think my mother recognized that she wouldn’t be on this earth as long as she wanted, wouldn’t be able to grandmother you kids as she thought you deserved. The only thing my mother told me about that lunch was that she was surprised Grandma Maxine had said your dad wasn’t her hardest child to raise, haha.

In 1986, my cousins Rose Marie and Anna Marie Lujan threw a 70^th birthday party for Aunt Flora (my dad’s double first cousin).

 

My parents and really our entire family had the best time. It was a Roaring Twenties costume party and they just had a ball. My dad had a few drinks and my brother ended up driving all of us home.

1987 was the 35th Anniversary. I knew my mother was ill, I didn’t foresee her celebrating their 50th Anniversary, so I  put together a wedding for them. My parents had run off to Las Vegas (my Aunt Jean had notoriously given them six months before they divorced) and I just felt they really deserved a large affair. I planned it as if it were a wedding. It was amazing. All of my dad’s friends from when he was a teenager showed up. Relatives and friends alike, it was a hell of a shindig. I was very proud of how their wedding turned out. It was a great party.

 

By 1989, Paul and I got married. My parents paid for most of my wedding and it was a real opportunity for them to throw a fancy wedding.

 

We got married at Morris Chapel (yep, same place mother had married that other man) and had close to 200 people attend. Having my dad walk me down the aisle meant the world to me. My mom and Maxine lit two candles on the alter then your dad and I lit one unity candle. We had a nice wedding. Paul and I went on our honeymoon on a Mexican cruise. My mom was mad because I hadn’t called her during my honeymoon.

By the time my wedding was over, Dad decided it was time for him to retire and for them to really start traveling.

We got married in September. We’d go to my mom’s house for dinner every night after work, because I knew Momma would be making dinner and really, why should I have to make a whole dinner too? Haha.

By November 1989, my parents sold their home on Harper’s Ferry Court and had moved three hours away to Rancho Tehama. Their home was in a small community up in the foothills just south of Red Bluff, CA. We really enjoyed spending time there. I also learned how to cook for myself.  The end of the 1980’s found my parents squirreled away in a region where there were birds to watch, deer who visited and a daughter who called her mother every day, sometimes three and four times a day.

The new decade brought about new grandchildren, a new home and the end of the Jacques family as we knew it.

 

Jacques Family in the 1970’s

After our Santa Clara home sold, we lived for a brief time on Sioux Lane and then moved to our next home at 6027 Sylvaner Way in San Jose. Today, that home is valued at $1,446,000 but back in the 1970’s it was a just a lovely home in a new subdivision. It was a single block off Almaden Expressway and the streets that surrounded it were Zinfandel, Rhinecastle and McAbee.

Camille had moved out with her friends, Susie and Annie Ellis for a brief period of time, but by 1973, she was married to David O’Brien.

Starting on the bottom step, David, Cammie, Dad, Robert (a gentleman friend of Aunt Jean’s) Mom, Aunt Jean, Sam, Laurie and Sally

At Reception for Cammie and Dave

When we first moved to Sylvaner, Tim was just graduating from high school and then he took off for Europe to go backpacking with his friends, Rainey and Christie. Laurie had a bedroom there too, but in short order, both she and Tim had moved out and the only ones left living at home were Jackie and myself.

Mom and Dad

It is important to stop for a minute and reflect on my mother’s health.  Her physical health was greatly impacted by a single event that took place in 1968. She had been working for Lockeheed Electronics when she fell down a flight of stairs, damaging her shoulder and breaking her back. She suffered great pain and for most of my childhood, my mother was either in the hospital, just getting out of the hospital or simply in pain. She eventually had five back surgeries, a knee replacement, and rotator cuff surgery. She suffered from debilitating migraines as well and physically her pain never ceased. However, my mother was the single most optimistic person I knew. She would be in devastating pain physically, but she’d plaster a smile on her face, sing a song and just be the nicest person around. She loved dancing with Tim. On Sunday mornings, they would get the newspaper and read it in bed. We would eventually find our way into their bedroom because we loved hearing my mom and dad talk about everything. It was so wonderful to listen to their conversations that everyone would end up in the same place. We’d climb into their bed and just chat up a storm and laugh. Eventually, mother would head to the kitchen and start breakfast. She’d make eggs and fried potatoes, but the crème de la crème were her biscuits. She made homemade biscuits that were simply heavenly.

Laurie, Jim, Tim, Bob, Cammie, Mom, Grandma Flora, Aunt Jean, me, Dad, David

Dad would come in to help her and she’d turn on her favorite music, usually a Frank Sinatra tune. She always wanted to dance with my dad, and even though she knew her back and leg would suffer, she just couldn’t resist. They really did have a great love for each other. It was a fun way to grow up.

 

Because the “big kids” had married or moved out, Jackie and I spent a great deal of time with our parents. In 1974, they took us on a road trip to Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana and Wyoming and we visited Expo 74’, the World’s Fair. This took place in Spokane, Washington. We had a fun trip.

Expo 74 trip

We also visited the 1976 American Freedom Train. It was a train that pulled into San Jose and it was filled with American Memorabilia. This included George Washington’s copy of the Constitution, Martin Luther King’s pulpit, a rock from the moon and the one item that impressed me the most, Judy Garland’s dress from the Wizard of Oz. This was such a cool event.

 

Mom, Jackie, Me

Dad and Mom

About this same time, Marriott’s Great America was opened in Santa Clara. We also visited this upon their opening as a family, including the big kids. This was the only time I ever rode a roller coaster, as my brother in-law David made me ride Willard’s Whizzer. By the way, there were no seatbelts nor bars, only the force of the ride kept you in the seat. There was a fatal accident on this train and it was eventually taken down. Scary to think about it now haha.

a French Doll costume my mom made for me, a role in the Babe’s in Toyland play

Can we say Perm, anyone?

PeeWee league bowling  trophy

Perm wasn’t tight enough? Nope

By 1977, Laurie was married to Brian O’Shea and she was pregnant with Tara Lynn. My parents were elated about their first grandchild.

We also had a dog by the name of Muffin. Mother said she looked like a ragamuffin when she was brought home and so that was what we called her. She was pregnant at the same time as Laurie. Muffin was a very intelligent poodle/terrier mix. She wasn’t allowed down the hall in our bedrooms and was to stay in the family room. Muffin would sneak down the hall to my bedroom, snatch up a Barbie Doll and chew her feet off. I lost a lot of my dolls like that.

Muffin

In the spring of 1977, Mom and Dad took me and Jackie on another trip. This time, we drove to my Aunt Fran and Uncle Don’s home in Florida. The Jones’ were friends that my parents made in Santa Clara. They would play cards together and just have the best time. My mother was a little older than Aunt Fran, so mother took Aunt Fran under her wing. They had started out as friends with Uncle Ron, Uncle Don’s brother, and his wife Aunt Bonnie. Our families grew up together and felt like family. We drove from CA to Arizona, New Mexico and Texas. Dad did the driving. The first day he drove all day and night, then we stopped by noon the next day. After that, we headed to Alabama and had a chance to visit my Uncle Bryan and Aunt Lillie in Birmingham. He was my mother’s uncle and she was very close to him. We also got the opportunity to meet Uncle Tom, my grandfather’s other brother.

Afterward, we drove out of Alabama, just ahead of a tornado. The sky was very black and quite frightening. We pulled into Pensacola, Florida in the afternoon. After securing a hotel, we drove around to see the town and have dinner. The entire town was closed. We couldn’t find anything open. We finally got back to our hotel and found that they were on a hurricane warning. That was scary too. The next day, we arrived in Titusville. We stayed at Aunt Fran and Uncle Don’s for several days. We visited the Glass Bottom Boats and the Kennedy Space Center. We also visited Uncle Ron and Aunt Bonnie and when we left Florida, we stopped to visit Uncle Don’s parents in Georgia.

 

Kennedy Space Center

Grand Canyon

On the way home, we drove through Memphis, TN but my dad refused to stop at Graceland, Elvis Presley’s Estate. I still hope to get there one day haha.

 

Jackie at the Atlantic Ocean

Jones Family, Don, Fran, Donna, Russ

Don Jones and Ron Jones Families

We drove back across the US and ended our trip in Las Vegas. We stayed in a two-room suite and we went to a dinner show and saw Dean Martin. He put on a great show. We spent Jackie’s 16^th birthday in Las Vegas.

When we arrived home, our dog Muffin had a litter of 9 pups. That is a big litter for such a small dog. A couple months later, Laurie had her first baby. My dad thought she should name her baby Tara Linda because he liked the name Linda, but she was named Tara Lynn. My parents were so thrilled with that new baby. A short seven months later, they had their first grandson as well. Cammie had her first baby, James Matthew, in 1978 and by 1979, Laurie had her next baby, Edward Allen.

Dad, Mom, Grandma Flora, baby Tara, baby Jimmy

As the 1970’s came to a close, my parents’ lives were filled with their grandchildren. But they were itching to move out of San Jose. The traffic was getting worse and they really wanted to return to Stockton, the town where they had met. Our parents sold our home and in November of 1978, we moved to Stockton. Jackie wasn’t pleased to be moving in the middle of her Senior year of high school. She stayed with a friend for the last month of school then joined us at Christmas. She graduated from Lincoln High in June of 1979. My parents were pleased to be back in Stockton. My Grandma Flora’s health was getting worse as the 1970’s ended and she, too, moved back to Stockton. As we close the 1970’s decade, my parents were relatively healthy, certainly happy and busy with parents, children and grandchildren. But as always, Tim and Jubie’s great love was the cornerstone of our family.

Jim, Eddie and Tara, the original three

 

 

Early Tim and Jubie Jacques family life

Tim and Jub, always in love

The beginning of my parent’s marriage was tough from the standpoint of others. I’ve spoken about my Grandma Flora and Grandpa Charles felt about my father. To be fair, my Grandma Tonia felt equally disdainful toward my mother. Truthfully, my father could have married a nun and my Grandma Tonita would have thought that the woman wasn’t good enough for her son. I’ve known people like that.

Jubie, pregnant with Cammie, Viola, pregnant with Mitzi

By the time my mother had Cammie, she and Tim were living with Grandma Tonita. Grandma Tonita might not have liked my mother much, but my dad had helped her buy that home and there was no way Grandma Tonita would deny my father anything.

Cammie and Mitzi, infants in the crib

One day, Grandma Tonita got mad at Jubie. She picked up infant Cammie, took her into the bedroom and locked the door. To say my mother was livid is an understatement. No cell phones in those days, so my mother went to Uncle Fred’s house to tell him. Uncle Fred was able to get ahold of Tim, who was on a job site. Tim came home right then, collected Jubie and Cammie and they went to stay at Uncle Fred’s until they could get themselves a place of their own.

 

Dad worked in underground construction and worked on job sites all over Northern California. They began moving from city to city, following his job sites. They started out in Tracy, CA then went to a million other little tiny towns, often staying at small motels. They ended up in Paso Robles, then Salinas, when they discovered Jubie was pregnant again. Jubie decided moving around was tough enough with one child, but the idea of two children was too much. They moved back to Santa Clara and bought their first home at 3481 Shafer Drive. In April 1955, they moved into their new home and Timothy James was born that May.

Shafer Drive

Their family was expanding quickly and Laurel Renee was born the next year. By 1958, they had a five year old, a two year old and an infant. Mom used to say she’d have her kids in bed by 7 pm because she needed to keep her sanity.

Baby Timmy in the tub

They had moved into a neighborhood in its infancy. Other families moved onto the street. Henry and Jeanne Hassman, our next-door neighbors, became friends. Henry worked as a machinist at Kaiser Aluminum. They lived at 3475 Shafer Drive.

Timmy, Tim and Cammie enjoying pool life

The Purse family lived at 3474 Shafer. Candy Purse was the same age as Laurie and they ran the streets together. The Schmidt family, the Hildebrands, the Morgans. Gus Hildebrand and Henry Hassman were in the Navy together in WWII.

 

The Moon family lived at 3471 Shafer Drive. Rebecca Schmidt, Dave and Kitty Payne at 3488 Shafer Drive,. The Flocchini family at 3591 Shafer Drive and the Walker Family, including daughter Ila (Poky) Walker. After the husbands left for work, the wives would get together for a coffee klatch every morning, while all the children played at each other’s homes and in the streets. This is where their family life started. Jubie invited the whole kindergarten class for Cammie’s birthday and the entire class showed up, in costume.

One of our neighbors, Candy Purse, shared a story and I’m retelling it, with her permission.

“I can even tell you a story I’m not sure if you guys knew. It was the day I fell in love with your dad. I’m not sure if you were born yet, I don’t think so, but I used to go over there and play with Laurie and Tim and you had a picnic table on the back patio.

We used to always play dress-ups and pretend we were on stage and perform a little shows. I was up on the picnic table I’m not sure if Laurie and Tim were up there with me or if they were watching but I think I was dancing around and I tripped and fell.

I hit my head on the concrete and I heard from others, it sounded like a watermelon. It knocked me out cold and I must’ve been about 4-6 years old. Your brother or sister must’ve ran in and told your dad.

He scooped me up and ran across the street and I was still out cold. First thing I remembered was him standing at my door and my mom was surprised and he told her I fell. When I heard his voice my eyes opened and I looked up and he was crying and looked very scared. I was looking at my hero and I fell in love with him at that moment.

 

He used always tell me I was his favorite little girl in the neighborhood because of my pretty red hair.”

Candy Purse and Susi Moon, used with permission

Candy Purse did go on to marry a Hispanic gentleman and credits my father with influencing her decision.

Timmy, Laurie and Cammie

The neighborhood stores were Dicks Grocery Store, Baskin Robbins, Ben Franklin Five and Dime. The bar, Barber shop and Baskin Robbins are all still there. It was a bucolic, Mayberry existence.

Shafer Drive Tribe playing dress up, including Jackie and Laurie, the first two on the left

They took many trips together, trips that mostly centered on camping. They would camp with Tim’s family including Fred and Alice, Dorothy and Sam and Angie and Tom.

Timmy, Jackie, Cammie and Laurie, a real “Brady Bunch” vacation lol

The 1960’s left a big impression on my parents. Jubie said that when President Kennedy was shot, Jackie was just a baby and it was very frightening. Then, Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby were shot on T.V. too, one right after the other. It was difficult to leave the television, they were so afraid something else would happen.

When the moon landing occurred, Tim thought it was all bullshit, that it had been filmed on a sound stage. Dad was that way, it took a lot to convince him. He never ended up believing in the moon landing, incidentally.

In the 1960’s, the kids were attending Pomeroy Elementary, Curtis Junior High and Buchser High School. By 1961, Jacqueline Celeste was born and finally by 1965, me. Mother gave each of her children full names. I was named Yvonne Annette. Their family was complete.

Timmy, Jackie, Laurie, Cookie and Cammie – 1966

Cookie (so called Cookie for a San Francisco Giant, Harry “Cookie” Lavagetto.) Dad just liked the way his name sounded and started calling me Cookie Love, then finally Cookie

A real 1970’s look about us, Laurie, Timmy, Jubie, Jackie and Cookie

By the 1960’s, the big kids were running with friends, and starting to live their own lives. By 1972, mom and dad decided to move. It ended a period of time in our lives when we lived as a whole family. By the time we moved to San Jose, Cammie had moved out, Tim and Laurie shortly thereafter and it was just Jackie and I left at home.

Playing in the pool

 

As the 1970’s took over our lives, we left behind our early selves and moved into a new phase. Grandchildren ahead!

The Jacquez family, circa 1970

 

Ruby and Tim, the love story

This was my father’s favorite picture of Momma

Funny that Mom’s love-life story starts with Grandma Flora. In about 1974 or so, Jackie and I were staying at Grandma Flora’s house up in Nevada City. Mom and Dad would leave us at Grandma’s house and go to Reno for the weekend. Jackie and I were playing in the extra bedroom. Grandma used to keep a Noah’s Ark, a plastic ark filled with animals for us to play with, as well as all my Nancy Drew and Hardy Boy Mystery books. Jackie and I were playing one day, and Jackie found a photo album that was stuck under the bed. Jackie pulled it out and there was a picture of a bride.

She looked at me and I looked at her. It was Mom. She was wearing a bride’s dress and simply looked beautiful. We thought, wow, I’ve never seen this. Jackie opened it up and we found beautiful pictures of all of Mom’s family.

However, the last couple of pictures were shocking.

They weren’t dad. They were pictures of a tall, blond man. We were shocked. Jackie quickly put it away back under the bed. I really was confused. I knew my parents had been married in Las Vegas and that was definitely not my father.

As soon as mom got back to Grandma’s house and we got her alone, Jackie said, “We found something in the bedroom.” Mom went to the bedroom with us and Jackie pulled the album out.

Mom said, “Oh that. I was married before.”

What? Mind blown. Hahaha we were so shocked. But my mother, you have to understand, Momma figured if she didn’t make a big deal out of something, then it wasn’t a big deal. She said, “Oh, it was annulled. That’s like it never happened.”

We had several conversations after that about this marriage and really, lack of a marriage. So, I shall tell this tale.

Mom and Bud Affeldt. She met him at Aunt Kay’s wedding

To start at the beginning, mother had a ton of boyfriends she dated throughout high school. She dated Ramon Erradaberry, her first boyfriend as well as Bud Affeldt and numerous other guys.

After graduating from high school, she went off to a college to become a dental assistant. Her parents moved from the Fresno Area to Stockton, CA in approximately 1948. She lived with her sister Kay until she graduated in 1949.

She briefly lived in San Francisco while at Dental Assistant school then moved to Stockton.

So she met Tim first. They were out cruising and the guy that dad was cruising with knew the girl mom was with. They ended up all in the same car and mom was in the front seat with dad. The car was full of kids. Tim pulled the car over on the side of the road and he kissed Jubie the first night they met. Jubie’s friend shouted “Juuuubbbbbie” because mother had let him kiss her. Jubie fell in love with Tim that night.

Now, I only know vague details on the rest of the story. I asked my mother, “If you met Dad first, how the hell did you marry Ted before you married Dad?”

She said that her parents didn’t like that her boyfriend was a Latin, as Jub would say. So, at some point, she met Ted Kuchenriter.

I know she and Ted were no love match. She said she walked down the aisle knowing that all her parents’ friends were out there and that her father was waiting for her. They had spent a lot of money on her wedding and she couldn’t disappoint them. So, she walked down the aisle, knowing she didn’t love Ted and couldn’t stay married to him. She loved Tim. She said she was doing him a favor, she didn’t love him and they would have only ended up divorced.

This was from the wedding book and such cute signatures including Aunt Kay, Grandma Flora, Bobby’s hand written signature, and Aunt Jean

She had a pretty wedding and stayed married to Ted “for about two weeks” before she had the marriage annulled. I am not certain how long that time was but she said she never consummated her marriage. He went off to the Korean War and was overseas.

Wedding reception. Aunt Jean is on the right in the foreground.

When Jubie had their marriage annulled, Ted came back. She said he was standing in front of her when she told him that she was ending their marriage. She said that if he had a gun in that moment he would’ve shot her, but as it was he took off his wedding ring and threw it at her. She didn’t care. She was in love with Tim and that was what she wanted.

Married

She and Tim threw her wedding ring from her marriage to Ted into the lake.

She went back to Tim and they eloped. They ran away to Las Vegas with their friends Don and Shirley Honeychurch and got married. So she didn’t have the big wedding, lots of flowers, gifts and friends.

Don Honeychurch, Jubie, Tim, Shirley Honeychurch Booth

On the occasion of their 35^th wedding anniversary, my siblings and I threw them the wedding party that they never had. I felt that their celebration was long over-due. Don and Shirley Honeychurch who had already divorced, were both there and it was a great night.

I think the lesson here is great. Your heart knows what it wants. People know, deep down, what they want. Times have changed. I know my mother was desperately afraid of disappointing her parents. Fear is a powerful motivator. But I think love is an even bigger, more powerful motivator. I can honestly say my parents love was real and never wavered. They loved each other until the end of their days. But, Momma puts it best, so I shall let my mother tell you herself.

 

Ruby May Hardin Jacques

 

I have resisted the idea of including my parents in this blog because my blog was for relatives who had passed on, relatives that my children would never get to know. I knew this would be a difficult post. My parents stay alive in my mind and obviously, this post would be much more personal. I watched Prince Harry of England say that he avoided speaking of his mother for years, because he knew it would be painful, he couldn’t bring her back and thus what was the point. His was a point I understood well. He said that he had to talk about her, feel the pain and be okay with it. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with my mother’s absence but here we go.

It is difficult to speak of my mother without being sad but our relationship was so filled with love. No one loved me like my mother. She made each of her children feel that way. She was not perfect. I am aware of this fact. She was simply good. My mother had a good attitude about life. She was a positive person. As children of Depression Era parents, we knew our parents had experienced struggles and tough times. Their love, however, was and is so encompassing, they only needed each other to be complete. So, to begin at the beginning.

On the back of this baby picture, it looks like her father wrote, “Jubie, age 6 months…send this one back”

Ruby May Hardin was born on February 9, 1930, to Flora and Charles Hardin. She was born in Borger, Texas and as you can see her listed on the 1930 U.S. Census as two months old and that the complex where they live is inhabited by people who worked, as her father did, for the railroad.

Her mother had named her Ruby May but her father nicknamed her Jubie. That name stuck and she was known as Jubie her whole life. Jubie was the baby of the family and babied by everyone. Her closest sibling was Aunt Jean and Jubie would say that Jeanie would make every chore fun, no matter what the chore. By the time Jubie was six months old, they’d left Texas and moved to New Mexico.

Jeanie, Jubie and Kay

Jubie had blue eyes, alabaster skin, freckles and bright red hair. When she went to school, she was made fun of for her freckles and red hair. The kids in her class called her turkey egg (apparently a turkey egg is speckled, a reference to her freckles). A friend of hers wrote us a letter after she passed and she said my mother had a reputation of being able to beat up any kid in the 6th grade. Momma didn’t take a whole lot of shit. 

Life in the early 30’s was difficult and her father thought they could have a better life if they moved to California. Her father drove them to California in his old Touring Dodge.

1926 Touring Dodge

They moved to California with two other families, the Coates and the McDonalds. They arrived in California in approximately 1933-1934 when Jubie was about 4 years old. She recalled living under the Woodson Bridge in Corning, California as they had no home when they arrived and camped out with lots of other families. Her father had a first cousin, Jack Trapp, living in Cottonwood, CA. Jubie wasn’t raised with a lot of family close by, so the Trapp family was the only family they had in California. Jack Trapp’s sister-in-law, Cora and Carl Smithers also lived in the area. These became my mother’s family and she played with all of their kids, Onera and Imogene Smithers and Doris Jean and Dorothy Faye Trapp.

Smithers children and Jubie on the top right

They lived in Corning while Jubie was in 1^st to 3^rd grades then they lived in Yuba City from the time she was in the 4^th to 6^th grades.

second row from the bottom, second from the right

Then they moved to Fresno. They lived at 255 Mariposa Street in Fresno. Then her father wanted to have acreage so they moved to Riverdale and leased 360 acres to farm cotton and alfalfa. They lived there until Jubie was in the 8^th grade and her mother managed a frozen food company. Flora decided that her husband wasn’t making a living on the farm so Flora went into town and bought a house. That was the first house they ever owned. They lived in that house from the time Jubie was a freshman in high school until she was a junior. Then her father moved to Stockton in 1947.

 

Charles and Jubie

My mother used to say she wasn’t fond of cats because she witnessed one being drowned but she did have a lot of animals. Her favorite animal was a sheep she named Lambie pie. Her first boyfriend, Ramon Erradaberry’s parents had a bummer lamb, one raised away from its mother and fed with a bottle. This was when they were living in Riverdale. Her lamb was a very loving animal and it was the first time Flora ever allowed a pet to be in the house. Lambie Pie slept in the kitchen near the free standing stove. They had that lamb for at least two years. Every day, the lamb and her dog would go down to the end of the lane and wait for Jubie to come home from school. One day Jubie went to town with her mother instead of going home after school. Lambie Pie was hit out on the road by a truck. Jubie wouldn’t allow anyone to eat her lamb and thus they took her home and buried her in the yard.

Momma was very close and enjoyed a great relationship with both her parents.

Charles, Flora, Jeanie and Jubie

 

Mother’s closest friend outside of her family was Maybelle Geiger. They did so much together and mother just loved that lady. Later in life, one of the only times my mother left dad at home alone, she went to see Maybelle in Fresno.

Maybelle Geiger Rowlands, Jubie and another girlfriend Alice Garcia. Alice taught Mother to make homemade tortillas.

 

Mrs. Geiger and Jubie

Another best friend was Jeanene Christensen and Jubie became friends with her in Yuba City. Here is a cute picture of them together, along with a cute picture of Jubie with Jeanene’s mother, Mrs. Christensen.

 

 

Jubie went to school near where she lived. However, when she started high school, her sister Kathleen thought it best that Jubie be sent to a boarding school. Now, if you knew my mother, you knew what a baby she was and I could tell from a mile away that wouldn’t be a great choice for her, but off to boarding school she went. Mother cried every day. She called her mother daily. Finally, after six miserable months at Lodi Academy, a 7th Day Adventist School in Lodi, Mother was allowed to return home. Momma said one day when she was at boarding school, she had kitchen duty. Mother got up and wiped up tables and figured she had to sweep the floor anyway so she wiped the crumbs and tossed them to the floor. Her teacher screeched at her that it wasn’t the proper thing to do. 

 

Mother had a wide array of friends and they used to go downtown to the movie theater on Saturdays. You could get in for a nickel and there would be a cartoon, a 15 minute serial, a news reel, then a double feature movie. They would stay there all day. On December 8, 1941 when Jubie was 11 years old, she was listening to the radio and heard the bulletin come on that the United States was entering World War II. She picked up the phone to tell her mother and her mother asked her, “Jubie, are you sure what you heard?” She said she was and it turned out she was correct. The U.S. had entered WWII and life changed again.

 

They listened to radio programs including the 15 minute mystery called “I love a Mystery” and starred Tony Randle. They listened to Our Miss Brooks and Fibber McGee and Molly. Everyone spent their evenings listening to these programs. 

Flora had joined the workforce and thus Jubie was the person who would make dinner for her family. Her mother taught her how to cook and she was a wonderful cook. I could spend a 10 minute diatribe on how wonderful her biscuits were and yet you simply could not appreciate them without having experienced them. She made so many dishes well and she passed those dishes on to her children.. Her potato salad was also heavenly. When I make a dish like that, I always enjoy it just a little bit more when I think, oh Momma would have been really proud of this dish.

When Jubie was 18, her girlfriend Jeanene Christensen and her mother went to visit Jubie and the Hardins. Jubie thought she was all grown up, certainly old enough to do her own thing. She and Jeanene took off for San Francisco. They took Jubie’s car and left a note for Flora and Mrs. Christensen. Needless to say, this episode gave Flora a migraine headache and Mrs. Christensen was very upset. The girls checked into a hotel, walked around town and then went to dinner. They went back to the hotel and spent the night. They really didn’t do anything to be upset about, but Flora was certain they were going to be kidnapped.

 

Jubie moved to Stockton in 1949 as she stayed in Fresno with Kay and Dick from 1947 to 1949, so she could finish high school. She worked during the summers in the frozen food plant and made enough money to buy her own clothing. Jubie was a responsible person and she babysat for children. She would be paid in silk stockings since they were not sold in stores, but if you were in the army you could buy them in the PX. When they announced that the war was over, everyone in their town went outside and celebrated together. People were kissing people in the street, regardless if you knew them or not. It was a very exciting celebration and they were all just thrilled to death to be alive.

Jubie and Dorotha

My mother had so many friends. I could build a border wall with the pictures of all of the weddings in which she was a matron. When she was 19, she and her friend Ellen Schneider and Ellen’s boyfriend Ray (he later married Ellen) took his car and drove to Canada. Ellen had been raised by Ukrainian parents in Canada. They had a wonderful time until Ray got sick with trench mouth, a severe gum infection.

 

Jubie was a joiner. She was in clubs and had a large base of friends.

Bottom row, third from the left

middle row, second from the right

High school graduate

I will continue my story on my next post. I knew going in, there was a lot of information to cover and I don’t want to overload anyone. Not to put too fine a point on it, we’ve arrived at my mother’s love life and it was an interesting period in her life. I have so many details of her life because after hearing Paul’s grandparent’s tapes of their lives, I decided I would record mother telling her stories. These were stories she had told me my whole life. I wanted to make sure I would get the details correct. I started interviewing my mother and we talked for about 45 minutes before we were interrupted by someone visiting. We turned off the tape and never got to continue it. I am grateful for the information and the chance to hear my Momma tell her stories once again.

Father’s Day…Timothy C. Jacques

My dad was born on December 9, 1927 and he was a typical Sagittarius. Head-strong, jovial and earnest; a hard working “good provider”. If you look at any of my other posts, you can see all of the people who made him into who he became. He was a “Momma’s boy”, but one that could take care of himself.

Tim and Angie

Angie and Tim

Tim and Angie

He was a charmer. He loved a red-headed chick with great legs and loved to drive a hot-rod as fast as he could get away with.

He could be adventurous or just drop a fishing line into a river, looking to catch a trout. He had a great love of his family. He had older brothers he loved and older sisters that made him feel special. Oh, he did have a pest of a younger sister who liked to talk his ear off, and a niece who was just as bothersome. Hell, Daddy loved Aunt Angie and Viola just as much as anyone else; they were just fun to complain about.

Hand-made card by Tim

His note to his dearest mother

Number book dad had from his elementary days

This book was made out of wallpaper and it was for the students to practice their numbers

He enlisted in the Merchant Marines at the age of 15 to join World War II then he enlisted in the Army when he reached 18.  He traveled extensively while in the army including Japan, Australia and the Philippines. He loved to play craps in the barracks but eventually no one would play with him because he would win all their money.

He met my mom and they were married in Las Vegas in 1952 and went on to have five kids.

When I was a teen, Dad worked in underground construction and often came home dusty and sweaty. He’d come into the house on Harper’s Ferry Court through the garage, into the laundry room, then drop his clothing at the washer. He walked all the way back to his bedroom in just his tightie-whities, even if we had friends at the house.

He took a black lunch box to work, the kind that had a flip top lid and silver latches. He sometimes took a Hostess cupcake or a Hostess snowball for his desert at lunch. He usually brought home the extra, and you could have whatever he brought back. Sometimes, it was left over Vienna sausages.  Daddy carried Juicy-fruit gum, the yellow wrappers sticking out of his shirt pocket.

Since he was in underground construction, he’d often wear a hard-hat and usually had one around the house.

He loved having a baby in the house.  As his last baby, my dad “babied me”. He loved to tell the story how he’d driven my mother to the hospital and dropped her off at the door. After parking the car, he raced into the hospital, only to see a nurse pushing a baby in a bassinet through the lobby. He said, “Hey, that’s my baby.” The  nurse said, “This baby was just born.” Daddy responded, “That’s my baby.” And it was me.

Mother had a serious fall down a staircase when she worked for Lockheed. She broke several vertebra in her back and damaged her shoulder. I was three years old. After that, my oldest sister Cammie and my dad took the responsibility of caring for me. Momma was still there but it was Daddy who bought my lunchbox when I started school. I cried and cried that I couldn’t possibly take a hot-wheels lunch box to school but he’d already bought it and so I was stuck with it. I wasn’t happy about that. He also took me to the first day of kindergarten. I was reluctant to join the class (going back to: I was the baby and didn’t want to go) and he pushed me toward the other children and told me he’d wait in the back of the room. Of course, he’d scat-assed as soon as I sat down.

My cousin Cynthia Paulson was getting married in 1969 when I was about 4. I was her flower girl. I made it down the aisle alright, but once on the stage I became very antsy and was flopping over with great exaggeration. My dad started mouthing at me from the audience to stand still during the ceremony. Finally I whined at him from the alter, “But Daddy, I’m tired.” Oh yes, that became my dad’s catch phrase for me.

When I was six, Dad took me to the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey circus, just the two of us. I thought it was so cool that he’d taken me somewhere by myself. My favorite act was the motorcyclist who drove around and around inside a cage.

Some days Daddy would leave a quarter and a dime on the table for my lunch money. When he was out of Skippy Peanut Butter, he wouldn’t leave Momma a note. Rather, he’d leave the empty tub on the counter. I guess we surmised it was time to replace it. He only liked white, store bought bread. He said he hated taking homemade bread to school in a tin can. He only drank whole milk and loved sweets, especially lemon cake.

One of the best things about my dad was his love of my mother. 

After Mom and Dad got married, my Aunt Jean famously gave them six months. Their marriage lasted far longer than that.

When I talk to Aunt Henrietta, my dad’s first cousin that he and Mother were friends with, she never fails to mention how much my parents loved each other, how devoted they were to each other. Their love was evident to anyone who spent any time with them.

Growing up, we knew Mom and Dad came first with each other, no matter what.

Daddy loved a good Roi-Tan Falcon cigar and smoked them constantly. When I was little he had smoked Camel cigarettes but after a health scare, he switched to cigars. He finally gave those up too, toward the end.

My dad loved to sit in his chair with his cigar and read or watch T.V. He was very well read, which made up for his lack of formal schooling. He was very intelligent and loved a good mystery.

All my life, my mother was my best friend. After she had died, I forced dad into that role. I don’t think he minded. He was very hunched over by then and had a difficult time sitting up straight. I would sit next to him on the floor and put my head on his lap, just so I could have him hug me.

If Dad were here today, I would buy him a box of See’s Candy (we only get Rocky Road and Peanut Butter Crunch…all two pounds) and take him out for Dave Wongs. This is the 13th Father’s Day that I have spent without him. I miss you Timothy Celestino Jacques or Big Time, as one of my brother in law’s used to call him. He was a hellofa guy!

Happy Veteran’s Day

Before I start, I just have to say happy first anniversary to my blog. I was so surprised that it had been a year since I had started writing it. I have made friends and relatives that I would never have met if it weren’t for this blog and I have enjoyed it immensely.  I look forward to the coming year and getting to know more of our ancestors.

It fills me with pride to bring you our family Veteran’s post 2014.

We thank each and every veteran from the bottom of our hearts for your service, sacrifice and we salute you!

Timothy Celestino Jacques – WWII

In 1942, Timothy enlisted at the age of 15 into the Merchant Marines with his mother’s permission. I don’t know about anyone else but I have a tough time letting my teen son go to the store alone, so Tonita must have been terrified and yet confident at the same time. Of course, my dad would say he was already grown at the age of 15.

This is one of the training schools he attended. As you can see, he was at the top of his class. Dad said his brothers and his brother in law Sam Saiz taught him everything about being a mechanic.

After the Merchant Marines, he joined the Army. He went through basic then traveled to Japan and Australia. He was undecided when his last tour was up if he would re-sign or if he would return to his home in Stockton. He finally decided to leave the army and the following month the unit he had been with left for Korea. Thanks, Daddy, for your service.

Gregory L. Quintana – Vietnam

My father and Greg’s mother, Viola Springall, were double first cousins. Most of the people on my tree that I talk about are deceased. However, I really wanted to include Greg. He served from 1966 to 1971 in the United States Air Force and was in Vietnam in 1968. I am glad you are not just a leaf on our tree and that we can say, “Thank you for your Service.”

Valentin Archuleta – WWII

He and my father were also double first cousins (and a brother to Viola). He, too, served in WWII. This article is from the Farmington Times and was published on August 21, 2009.
FARMINGTON — Telesforo “Archie” Archuleta was a survivor. But to his family and friends, he also was a hero.

The Blanco resident witnessed some of history’s most famous and horrific events.

He not only survived the Battle of Bataan, the Bataan Death March and 40 months as a prisoner of war of the Japanese army during World War II, but he helped others to survive.

Archuleta, 94, died peacefully Thursday at home in Blanco.

Born on Nov. 5, 1914, Archuleta was raised on a ranch in Blanco.

His mother died when he was 14 years old and he left school to care for his younger siblings.

Archuleta entered the U.S. Army on Nov. 21, 1941, and was assigned to Battery G 200th Coast Artillery, as part of the Asiatic Pacific Theater.

He was a member of a Coast Artillery gun crew and received two campaign stars for operations in the Pacific theater.

He was captured by the Japanese during the three-month Battle of Bataan and became a prisoner of war.

Archuleta was forced to march 60 miles along the peninsula to prison camps during The Bataan Death March in 1942.

He was sent on a “hell ship” from the Philippines to Japan to mine ore and coal for the Japanese war effort because he was one of the stronger prisoners.

Approximately 75,000 American and Filipino prisoners of war captured by the Japanese were forced to march.

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Approximately 1,800 men from New Mexico were sent to the Philippines and 900 survived the battle for Bataan, the death march and the months spent in prisoner of war camps.

“He survived because

he said he had to keep

the younger boys alive,” Archuleta’s daughter Caroline Poore said.

Archuleta returned from the war in 1945.

When his sisters went to The Presidio in San Francisco after Archuleta arrived on a ship, they couldn’t find him even though officials ensured them he was there.

“He was so decimated and sick, they didn’t recognize their own brother,” Poore said. A man who averaged 150 to 160 pounds only weighed 78 pounds when he was rescued.

Archuleta recuperated enough to come home to Blanco and marry Tonita Archuleta on Dec. 3, 1945, before he was sent to a hospital in San Antonio to continue his recovery.

He suffered hearing loss from continued beatings to his head and balance problems, Poore said. He dealt with starvation and suffered every disease from dysentery to malaria while a POW.

He never spoke of his time in the prison camp or about the horrors he witnessed during the war.

It wasn’t until years later that his family learned about his heroic efforts.

Charlie Sanchez, a fellow POW, told the family on Archuleta’s 50th wedding anniversary, how his life was saved on the hell ship.

The ships were packed so tightly and there was no air, water or food. If a man slipped and fell down, he would get suffocated, Poore said.

“Dad tied (Sanchez’s) belt to his own and held him up throughout the trip,” Poore said.

Poore and her sister, Erlinda Miller, recalled another story of Archuleta helping another prisoner.

Many of the men who worked in the mines didn’t have shoes. Often they would suffer from frostbite and gangrene and eventually die.

Archuleta would weather proof his shoes with ball joint grease and, as he walked out of the mines, he would slip his shoes to fellow prisoner Pat Boone, who didn’t have any, Poore said

He kept the stories to himself, his daughters said.

“One summer, when we were kids and complaining about what we were eating, my father slammed his hands on the table making the plates jump,” Miller said.

“Listen here,’ my dad said, if you ever had to eat a rat, you would never complain about what you had to eat,'” Miller said.

Archuleta returned a quiet man who had high morals and standards, his daughter said.

“He was a very strong person and a very strong willed person,” Poore said. “He always worked hard his whole life.”

Now that is an amazing story and I am so proud to have that person on my tree. Thank you for your service.

Onofre Reyes Jaquez WWI

Onofre Reyes Jaquez trained at Camp Kearny in San Diego, CA and also trained in Camp Funston in Junction City, Kansas. Thank you for your service.

Jobe Douglas Hardin – American Civil War

Job Hardin is a brother to Ambers Hardin, who was my grandfather Charles Hardin’s great uncle. He served in the 40^th Alabama Regiment as a Private in Company K and participated in the Battle of Vicksburg. Thank you for your service.

Peter Dunkin – Revolutionary War

Peter Dunkin is a grandfather to Mary Elizabeth Dunkin and a great-great grandfather to Charles Hardin. He served in the 10^th Regiment of Sargent Sharp’s Company. Thank you for your service.

This is just the tip of the ice berg. There are many heroes who sacrificed their time and in some cases their lives to continue the way of life that we have carved out, one day at a time. To the many women and men who have served more recently, please stay safe and Thank you for your service.