Funny that Mom’s love-life story starts with Grandma Flora. In about 1974 or so, Jackie and I were staying at Grandma Flora’s house up in Nevada City. Mom and Dad would leave us at Grandma’s house and go to Reno for the weekend. Jackie and I were playing in the extra bedroom. Grandma used to keep a Noah’s Ark, a plastic ark filled with animals for us to play with, as well as all my Nancy Drew and Hardy Boy Mystery books. Jackie and I were playing one day, and Jackie found a photo album that was stuck under the bed. Jackie pulled it out and there was a picture of a bride.
She looked at me and I looked at her. It was Mom. She was wearing a bride’s dress and simply looked beautiful. We thought, wow, I’ve never seen this. Jackie opened it up and we found beautiful pictures of all of Mom’s family.
However, the last couple of pictures were shocking.
They weren’t dad. They were pictures of a tall, blond man. We were shocked. Jackie quickly put it away back under the bed. I really was confused. I knew my parents had been married in Las Vegas and that was definitely not my father.
As soon as mom got back to Grandma’s house and we got her alone, Jackie said, “We found something in the bedroom.” Mom went to the bedroom with us and Jackie pulled the album out.
Mom said, “Oh that. I was married before.”
What? Mind blown. Hahaha we were so shocked. But my mother, you have to understand, Momma figured if she didn’t make a big deal out of something, then it wasn’t a big deal. She said, “Oh, it was annulled. That’s like it never happened.”
We had several conversations after that about this marriage and really, lack of a marriage. So, I shall tell this tale.
Mom and Bud Affeldt. She met him at Aunt Kay’s wedding
To start at the beginning, mother had a ton of boyfriends she dated throughout high school. She dated Ramon Erradaberry, her first boyfriend as well as Bud Affeldt and numerous other guys.
After graduating from high school, she went off to a college to become a dental assistant. Her parents moved from the Fresno Area to Stockton, CA in approximately 1948. She lived with her sister Kay until she graduated in 1949.
She briefly lived in San Francisco while at Dental Assistant school then moved to Stockton.
So she met Tim first. They were out cruising and the guy that dad was cruising with knew the girl mom was with. They ended up all in the same car and mom was in the front seat with dad. The car was full of kids. Tim pulled the car over on the side of the road and he kissed Jubie the first night they met. Jubie’s friend shouted “Juuuubbbbbie” because mother had let him kiss her. Jubie fell in love with Tim that night.
Now, I only know vague details on the rest of the story. I asked my mother, “If you met Dad first, how the hell did you marry Ted before you married Dad?”
She said that her parents didn’t like that her boyfriend was a Latin, as Jub would say. So, at some point, she met Ted Kuchenriter.
I know she and Ted were no love match. She said she walked down the aisle knowing that all her parents’ friends were out there and that her father was waiting for her. They had spent a lot of money on her wedding and she couldn’t disappoint them. So, she walked down the aisle, knowing she didn’t love Ted and couldn’t stay married to him. She loved Tim. She said she was doing him a favor, she didn’t love him and they would have only ended up divorced.
This was from the wedding book and such cute signatures including Aunt Kay, Grandma Flora, Bobby’s hand written signature, and Aunt Jean
She had a pretty wedding and stayed married to Ted “for about two weeks” before she had the marriage annulled. I am not certain how long that time was but she said she never consummated her marriage. He went off to the Korean War and was overseas.
Wedding reception. Aunt Jean is on the right in the foreground.
When Jubie had their marriage annulled, Ted came back. She said he was standing in front of her when she told him that she was ending their marriage. She said that if he had a gun in that moment he would’ve shot her, but as it was he took off his wedding ring and threw it at her. She didn’t care. She was in love with Tim and that was what she wanted.
Married
She and Tim threw her wedding ring from her marriage to Ted into the lake.
She went back to Tim and they eloped. They ran away to Las Vegas with their friends Don and Shirley Honeychurch and got married. So she didn’t have the big wedding, lots of flowers, gifts and friends.
Don Honeychurch, Jubie, Tim, Shirley Honeychurch Booth
On the occasion of their 35th wedding anniversary, my siblings and I threw them the wedding party that they never had. I felt that their celebration was long over-due. Don and Shirley Honeychurch who had already divorced, were both there and it was a great night.
I think the lesson here is great. Your heart knows what it wants. People know, deep down, what they want. Times have changed. I know my mother was desperately afraid of disappointing her parents. Fear is a powerful motivator. But I think love is an even bigger, more powerful motivator. I can honestly say my parents love was real and never wavered. They loved each other until the end of their days. But, Momma puts it best, so I shall let my mother tell you herself.
I have resisted the idea of including my parents in this blog because my blog was for relatives who had passed on, relatives that my children would never get to know. I knew this would be a difficult post. My parents stay alive in my mind and obviously, this post would be much more personal. I watched Prince Harry of England say that he avoided speaking of his mother for years, because he knew it would be painful, he couldn’t bring her back and thus what was the point. His was a point I understood well. He said that he had to talk about her, feel the pain and be okay with it. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with my mother’s absence but here we go.
It is difficult to speak of my mother without being sad but our relationship was so filled with love. No one loved me like my mother. She made each of her children feel that way. She was not perfect. I am aware of this fact. She was simply good. My mother had a good attitude about life. She was a positive person. As children of Depression Era parents, we knew our parents had experienced struggles and tough times. Their love, however, was and is so encompassing, they only needed each other to be complete. So, to begin at the beginning.
On the back of this baby picture, it looks like her father wrote, “Jubie, age 6 months…send this one back”
Ruby May Hardin was born on February 9, 1930, to Flora and Charles Hardin. She was born in Borger, Texas and as you can see her listed on the 1930 U.S. Census as two months old and that the complex where they live is inhabited by people who worked, as her father did, for the railroad.
Her mother had named her Ruby May but her father nicknamed her Jubie. That name stuck and she was known as Jubie her whole life. Jubie was the baby of the family and babied by everyone. Her closest sibling was Aunt Jean and Jubie would say that Jeanie would make every chore fun, no matter what the chore. By the time Jubie was six months old, they’d left Texas and moved to New Mexico.
Jeanie, Jubie and Kay
Jubie had blue eyes, alabaster skin, freckles and bright red hair. When she went to school, she was made fun of for her freckles and red hair. The kids in her class called her turkey egg (apparently a turkey egg is speckled, a reference to her freckles). A friend of hers wrote us a letter after she passed and she said my mother had a reputation of being able to beat up any kid in the 6th grade. Momma didn’t take a whole lot of shit.
Life in the early 30’s was difficult and her father thought they could have a better life if they moved to California. Her father drove them to California in his old Touring Dodge.
1926 Touring Dodge
They moved to California with two other families, the Coates and the McDonalds. They arrived in California in approximately 1933-1934 when Jubie was about 4 years old. She recalled living under the Woodson Bridge in Corning, California as they had no home when they arrived and camped out with lots of other families. Her father had a first cousin, Jack Trapp, living in Cottonwood, CA. Jubie wasn’t raised with a lot of family close by, so the Trapp family was the only family they had in California. Jack Trapp’s sister-in-law, Cora and Carl Smithers also lived in the area. These became my mother’s family and she played with all of their kids, Onera and Imogene Smithers and Doris Jean and Dorothy Faye Trapp.
Smithers children and Jubie on the top right
They lived in Corning while Jubie was in 1st to 3rd grades then they lived in Yuba City from the time she was in the 4th to 6th grades.
second row from the bottom, second from the right
Then they moved to Fresno. They lived at 255 Mariposa Street in Fresno. Then her father wanted to have acreage so they moved to Riverdale and leased 360 acres to farm cotton and alfalfa. They lived there until Jubie was in the 8th grade and her mother managed a frozen food company. Flora decided that her husband wasn’t making a living on the farm so Flora went into town and bought a house. That was the first house they ever owned. They lived in that house from the time Jubie was a freshman in high school until she was a junior. Then her father moved to Stockton in 1947.
Charles and Jubie
My mother used to say she wasn’t fond of cats because she witnessed one being drowned but she did have a lot of animals. Her favorite animal was a sheep she named Lambie pie. Her first boyfriend, Ramon Erradaberry’s parents had a bummer lamb, one raised away from its mother and fed with a bottle. This was when they were living in Riverdale. Her lamb was a very loving animal and it was the first time Flora ever allowed a pet to be in the house. Lambie Pie slept in the kitchen near the free standing stove. They had that lamb for at least two years. Every day, the lamb and her dog would go down to the end of the lane and wait for Jubie to come home from school. One day Jubie went to town with her mother instead of going home after school. Lambie Pie was hit out on the road by a truck. Jubie wouldn’t allow anyone to eat her lamb and thus they took her home and buried her in the yard.
Momma was very close and enjoyed a great relationship with both her parents.
Charles, Flora, Jeanie and Jubie
Mother’s closest friend outside of her family was Maybelle Geiger. They did so much together and mother just loved that lady. Later in life, one of the only times my mother left dad at home alone, she went to see Maybelle in Fresno.
Maybelle Geiger Rowlands, Jubie and another girlfriend Alice Garcia. Alice taught Mother to make homemade tortillas.
Mrs. Geiger and Jubie
Another best friend was Jeanene Christensen and Jubie became friends with her in Yuba City. Here is a cute picture of them together, along with a cute picture of Jubie with Jeanene’s mother, Mrs. Christensen.
Jubie went to school near where she lived. However, when she started high school, her sister Kathleen thought it best that Jubie be sent to a boarding school. Now, if you knew my mother, you knew what a baby she was and I could tell from a mile away that wouldn’t be a great choice for her, but off to boarding school she went. Mother cried every day. She called her mother daily. Finally, after six miserable months at Lodi Academy, a 7th Day Adventist School in Lodi, Mother was allowed to return home. Momma said one day when she was at boarding school, she had kitchen duty. Mother got up and wiped up tables and figured she had to sweep the floor anyway so she wiped the crumbs and tossed them to the floor. Her teacher screeched at her that it wasn’t the proper thing to do.
Mother had a wide array of friends and they used to go downtown to the movie theater on Saturdays. You could get in for a nickel and there would be a cartoon, a 15 minute serial, a news reel, then a double feature movie. They would stay there all day. On December 8, 1941 when Jubie was 11 years old, she was listening to the radio and heard the bulletin come on that the United States was entering World War II. She picked up the phone to tell her mother and her mother asked her, “Jubie, are you sure what you heard?” She said she was and it turned out she was correct. The U.S. had entered WWII and life changed again.
They listened to radio programs including the 15 minute mystery called “I love a Mystery” and starred Tony Randle. They listened to Our Miss Brooks and Fibber McGee and Molly. Everyone spent their evenings listening to these programs.
Flora had joined the workforce and thus Jubie was the person who would make dinner for her family. Her mother taught her how to cook and she was a wonderful cook. I could spend a 10 minute diatribe on how wonderful her biscuits were and yet you simply could not appreciate them without having experienced them. She made so many dishes well and she passed those dishes on to her children.. Her potato salad was also heavenly. When I make a dish like that, I always enjoy it just a little bit more when I think, oh Momma would have been really proud of this dish.
When Jubie was 18, her girlfriend Jeanene Christensen and her mother went to visit Jubie and the Hardins. Jubie thought she was all grown up, certainly old enough to do her own thing. She and Jeanene took off for San Francisco. They took Jubie’s car and left a note for Flora and Mrs. Christensen. Needless to say, this episode gave Flora a migraine headache and Mrs. Christensen was very upset. The girls checked into a hotel, walked around town and then went to dinner. They went back to the hotel and spent the night. They really didn’t do anything to be upset about, but Flora was certain they were going to be kidnapped.
Jubie moved to Stockton in 1949 as she stayed in Fresno with Kay and Dick from 1947 to 1949, so she could finish high school. She worked during the summers in the frozen food plant and made enough money to buy her own clothing. Jubie was a responsible person and she babysat for children. She would be paid in silk stockings since they were not sold in stores, but if you were in the army you could buy them in the PX. When they announced that the war was over, everyone in their town went outside and celebrated together. People were kissing people in the street, regardless if you knew them or not. It was a very exciting celebration and they were all just thrilled to death to be alive.
Jubie and Dorotha
My mother had so many friends. I could build a border wall with the pictures of all of the weddings in which she was a matron. When she was 19, she and her friend Ellen Schneider and Ellen’s boyfriend Ray (he later married Ellen) took his car and drove to Canada. Ellen had been raised by Ukrainian parents in Canada. They had a wonderful time until Ray got sick with trench mouth, a severe gum infection.
Jubie was a joiner. She was in clubs and had a large base of friends.
Bottom row, third from the left
middle row, second from the right
High school graduate
I will continue my story on my next post. I knew going in, there was a lot of information to cover and I don’t want to overload anyone. Not to put too fine a point on it, we’ve arrived at my mother’s love life and it was an interesting period in her life. I have so many details of her life because after hearing Paul’s grandparent’s tapes of their lives, I decided I would record mother telling her stories. These were stories she had told me my whole life. I wanted to make sure I would get the details correct. I started interviewing my mother and we talked for about 45 minutes before we were interrupted by someone visiting. We turned off the tape and never got to continue it. I am grateful for the information and the chance to hear my Momma tell her stories once again.
Aunt Kay was born on May 1, 1924 in Trinidad, Colorado. Her mother Flora had been pregnant with Kathleen when her son Charles Jr. passed away. Grandma Flora used to say she would walk to the cemetery, two miles a day, and cried the whole way. Aunt Kay must have been very welcome to a mother who had lost a baby. Aunt Kay was the oldest surviving sibling and two years later, Virginia was born. Ruby came along in 1930. This branch of the Hardin family was complete. Kathleen moved with her parents from Colorado to Washington to Texas to New Mexico and finally to California. If I asked my mother a question and she couldn’t remember something, she’d say, “Let’s call Aunt Kay”.
Virginia, Ruby and Kathleen
Aunt Kay was the first to go to school and she went to boarding school as a young lady. She loved boarding school. Aunt Kay was a superior student and she excelled at everything. She loved being away at boarding school. I know this because my own mother, at Aunt Kay’s urging, was sent to boarding school too. Lodi Adventist Academy in Lodi, CA. Only my mother didn’t last very long. She would call her mother every night and cry until Grandma Flora finally let Ruby go home.
Mother’s real name is Ruby. Aunt Kay always called mother that. She never called her Jubie, as all of her other family members did.
My mother’s favorite story to tell of Aunt Kay growing up was the time a bird pooped in Aunt Kay’s mouth. Mother used to say Aunt Kay was being sassy one day and had been standing under a tree. Grandpa Hardin said something to her and Aunt Kay looked up with her mouth open, just as the bird pooped. My Mom would laugh every time she told that story.
This is a picture of Aunt Kay at age 14. I love the writing on the back of it. It says, “Imagine you’ll appreciate this picture. It’s sure wonderful, isn’t it? You surely must have been mad!” That makes me laugh. Aunt Kay must have been a fireball as a teenager.
Kathleen met Richard Paulson and began dating him. Grandma Flora used to pick up Uncle Dick and take him to visit Kathleen while she was in college. Dick’s mother, Mary Azadian Paulson, had been born in Bulgaria as her parents were traveling to Italy or France. As I have been researching my entire family, I have found very few “this person immigrated from this country” stories but Mary Azadian Paulson was cool because I found her Naturalization records.
Mary Paulson’s signature
The current fervor of the immigrant coming to the U.S. today really raises my ire. I believe we, as Americans, need to stop thinking of them as “immigrants” and remember that they are people. Not everyone is out to harm us. Okay, I’m off my soap box. However, Mary Azadian Paulson was a family woman. She was married to “Garabed B.” George Paulson who was born on March 29th, 1888 in Bardijag, Turkey. Their ethnicity was Armenian. They came into the US via New York and ended up in Los Angeles. Their children, Vivian Paulson Surabian and Richard were born in Dianuba, CA, just outside Fresno, California. George Paulson was a cabinet maker in a cabinet shop, by trade.
Uncle Dick served in the U.S. Navy for four years from 1942 to 1946. Kathleen Grace and Richard were married on April 1, 1946. They lived in the Fresno area. My mom said that she was in high school when they married and Flora and Charles were moving to Stockton. Ruby didn’t want to leave her high school in Fresno, so she moved in with Kay and Dick so she could finish her schooling.
Dick earned several degrees including a Masters Degree in Speech. He went on to become a College Professor at the Reedley Community College.
Kathleen
Their first child, Cynthia Ann Paulson, was born on September 11, 1947.
A friend and her child, Kathleen holding Cindy
Dick holding Cindy
Cindy and Kay
While Cindy wasn’t the first grandchild, (she joined her sister Jeannie’s first born, Bobby) Cindy was certainly the first granddaughter and very well loved.
Charles, Cindy and Flora
My Aunt Kay was a Ornithologist by heart if not by trade. She took bird watching to a new level. She took many trips, including to Costa Rica, and was absolutely brilliant at naming different bird species. My mother was a little in awe of her bird watching abilities. I, myself, am no student of birds, but do love catching sight of them now and again.
Kay and Dick on a bird watching trip
Out on a hike, still bird watching
Dick, Kay, Lilly and Bryan Hardin and Cindy
There was a gap between her children on but April 2, 1960 Kevin Paulson was born. This started a second wave of grandchildren in the Hardin family. In short order, Kathleen had Kevin, Jeannie had James in 1960, Ruby had Jackie in 1961, not to be outdone, Kathleen had Kendall and Jeannie had John, both in 1961. Those Hardin sisters had a hell of a run. I was the last grandchild born in 1965.
Jeannie’s family on the left, Flora, then Kay’s family and Ruby’s family
Cindy, Kay, Dick and Kevin, 1960
Dick, Kay, Cindy, Kevin and Kendall
On August 26, 1969, Cynthia married James Wilkinson. I was asked to be Cindy’s flower girl.
Mr. and Mrs. Wilkinson
Cindy and I
Cindy and Jim have two children, Janene and Matthew. When Janene got married, she asked my daughter, Taylor, to be her flower girl.
Janene and Taylor
Auntie Kay-Kay and Taylor
As Aunt Kay and my Mom grew older, they became really good friends. I think my mother was a bit in awe of Aunt Kay and mother had a tendency to compare herself to Aunt Kay. Every holiday that we celebrated with Grandma Flora, Aunt Kay’s family always came and Aunt Kay would bring fresh, home-baked rolls. Aunt Kay’s rolls were legendary and we were always relieved when she would arrive. Aunt Kay stayed a member of the Seven Day Adventist Church and her family was raised as vegetarians. I may know of some of my siblings and cousins who would sneak turkey to Kevin and Kendall. After Aunt Kay left the SDA church, she took to buying jewelry. This was a hobby my mother could get behind.
Ruby and Kathleen together visit the home they were raised in
Ruby and Kathleen
Ruby, Kathleen, Dick and Tim
Ruby and Kathleen were able to take a trip to Montreal, Canada together. They were being presented with an award from the Shaklee Corporation that was named after Grandma Flora so they made the trip together to accept it. They had a great time.
Ruby and Tim, Cindy and Kathleen
They also went together to a Hardin family reunion and were able to travel to Alabama and to visit the home where Charles was raised. Ruby and Kay had so many wonderful times together.
Tim, Ruby and Kay
Dick and Kay at Ruby’s home in Rancho Tehema, CA
This is what Aunt Kay inscribed on the back of the picture.
You can see Aunt Kay considered mother her best friend
Later in life, Ruby took Jackie on a train trip to visit Aunt Kay in Fresno. Kay and Dick picked them up at the train station and they went to a movie and out to lunch. They went back to Aunt Kay’s and she made a meal with Phyllo dough. It was the first time Jackie had ever seen someone use that type of dough and Aunt Kay showed her how delicate it was and how to work quickly with it. That night, Ruby and Kay told stories about Grandma Flora and how it was when they were growing up. Aunt Kay made a wonderful breakfast then they took the train back to Stockton. It was special for Jackie to spend time alone with Momma (family of five, didn’t happen a lot) but this was a trip she will never forget.
I took Taylor as a baby with Momma and Daddy to visit Aunt Kay.
Mom, me, Taylor, Aunt Kay and my Dad Tim
After my mother died, I didn’t get to see Aunt Kay much. She was getting on in age. She had watched her mother and sister Ruby both die from the same dreaded disease, breast cancer. She felt very strongly that, as a preventative measure, she should have both breasts removed. This was a very radical idea when she did it. Now, her foresight was certainly proven correct. I was really longing to see her so in approximately 2005 or 2006, I went with my brother Tim, Paul and I and our girls went to see Aunt Kay. We had a wonderful dinner prepared by Cindy and it was good to just see Aunt Kay. Taylor said later, Aunt Kay’s skin reminded her of her Grandma Jubie. I could certainly appreciate that.
Cindy, Kendall, Matthew, Kevin, Dick, Janene, Kay and her great-granddaughters, Amber and Melina
Aunt Kay passed away on April 7th, 2014, one week after her 68th wedding anniversary, one month shy of her 90th birthday. Uncle Dick is still going strong at 95 and says he is planning to live to 100. I won’t be surprised. Taylor and I drove to Half Moon Bay to attend Aunt Kay’s funeral. It was good to be with my cousins and I was so glad I did. My mother would certainly have appreciated that we did that.
Kathleen was the last of the little Hardin family to return home, to each other. I am sure she was well received.
Charles Jackson Hardin was born on March 5, 1892 in Graysville, Alabama. The fact that Graysville started out being called Gin Town because Graysville had the only cotton gin for miles made me laugh. I guess that is where my grandfather got a taste for alcohol. His father was Alfred Jackson Hardin and his mother was Georgia Tallulah Young.
Charles is on the left. Fun hair, right?
Alfred Hardin had been previously married to a woman by the name of Martha Bivens. Together they had three sons. William Lenox (WL) Hardin, born 1879, Issac Luther Hardin born in 1881 and Samuel Hardin born on 14th of May, 1883. Martha Bivens Hardin died on the 29th of May, 1883, two short weeks after her child’s birth. Samuel died five years later in 1888.
Alfred Hardin married Georgia Tallulah Young in 1891 and she inherited two young boys. Charles Jackson was their first child born a year later in 1892.
Charles’s subsequent siblings were Moses, Esther, Ida, Thelma, Gracie Ann, Tom and Felix, who was called Bryan.
In 1900, the family still lived in Graysville, AL and Alfred working as a farmer. His two oldest sons, WL and Issac were working as farm laborers.
By 1910, they had moved to Massy and Lacon Road in Morgan County, AL and were still running a farm. Charlie was 18 and helping his father on the farm.
I didn’t get to meet my grandfather. I will get to that part shortly. However, in 1977 my parents took me and Jackie on a trip across the US heading to Florida. In Birmingham, AL we stopped and spent the night with my Great Uncle Bryan and Great Aunt Lilly. Uncle Bryan took us out to the cemetery and as we were walking through, Uncle Bryan points to a grave and says, “That’s Charlie’s first wife.” I was shocked. I didn’t know Grandpa had been married before. What do you want to bet that the picture above where it has been cut out from a larger picture included his ex-wife? I can see the slightest hint of a black dress next to his shoulder.
So, Charles Hardin had married a woman by the name of Serepta Viola Wilhite. I had no other information other than that Charlie had been married to her. I assumed she must have died before he married Grandma Flora. Nope. She died in 1976, the year before we visited. I was shocked (it didn’t take a lot to shock me at that point). I found that on the 1920 census, Viola Wilhite was listed as a “widow”. That made me laugh. I thought, hm, history revisionist? Lol. My guess is that Charles was married to her sometime in between 1911-1915. Married and divorced. I don’t have any other information than that.
By June 5, 1917 Charles is living in Covington, Kentucky and working as a Clerk at Adams Exploration Company. He was single when he signed up for the WWI draft. He is listed as having a bad ankle.
On June 21, 1921 Charles Jackson Hardin took a bride, one Flora Mae Burgess. He was 29 years old, Flora just 19 years old. I suspect she was swept off her feet. She had been living in Tulsa, OK working at an office and living as a border in a home. I think she must have longed to have a “real home” and a “real family”, a symptom of having been raised without a mother since the age of eight. They were married on the same day as a race riot had erupted in Tulsa.
Flora on her wedding day, on the left
Tulsa History
Grandpa Hardin was already working for the railroad. He held several jobs with the railroad and they traveled by railroad during their married lives.
Charles and Flora, traveling by train with their grandchildren, Robert Condit, Sally and Sam Kosich
Train pass for CJ and wife, Western Pacific RR
One month into their marriage, Flora and Charles were living in the Killmer Apartments in West Tulsa, OK when they received a knock at their door in the middle of the night and Flora was informed that she would be one of 21 heirs to inherit a fortune.
The Tulsa Tribune and my grandparents on the cover
So, although the article makes a big proclamation that my grandparents were to live on Easy Street, that was not to be. Flora’s Grandmother was descended from a Texas family who had owned property where oil was discovered. I can only imagine that it rocked their marriage early. You can see from the article that he was employed as a Switchman for the Frisco road in West Tulsa and Flora was the Credit Manager at Hunt’s Store. To me, the sweetest part of the article is what their dream was…to move to Texas and buy a ranch, raising cattle and hogs. A real country life! But first, they were going to buy a car and drive to Alabama to visit his family.
They do not make it to Easy Street, but they do make it to Texas. Just in time for the Dust Bowl. But first, they moved to Colorado. A year later, in June of 1922, Charles Jackson Hardin Jr. was born. He was a pretty baby and Grandpa Hardin must have been so happy with him.
But his dear little life wasn’t to be, either. Grandma Flora was already pregnant with my Aunt Kay when Junior died at 15 months old. I cannot fathom how hard it would have been to lose their baby, but Grandma Flora used to walk, every day, a mile to the cemetery and a mile home, crying all the way. This had to have had a lasting effect on their marriage and on their home life.
CJ Hardin, Jr. and Sr.
Denver, Colorado (P.S. in the 1920’s not enough money for them to buy this headstone. That was added in the 1990’s by Timothy Jacques, Ruby’s husband and Charles’ son-in-law as a surprise for Ruby, who hated that her brother didn’t have a headstone).
The little family persevered. In the 1920’s he continued working for the railroad. By 1930, they were living in Borger, Texas, had two daughters, Kathleen and Virginia. Flora had their last child, Ruby Mae Hardin on February 9, 1930.
So while they lived from state to state (Virginia was born in Washington State), Charles made several trips to visit his family in Alabama. You can tell from these pictures he must have been very adored in his family and felt very close to them. I think Flora really longed for a large family with lots of people to love.
Taken between 1926 and 1927, Tom holding child, Charles, Uncle Bryan and first wife, holding Virginia, then most likely a brother and a sister then his father and front row is Kathleen, a male cousin, Lula and her mother, Mary Young.
Esther, Thelma, Charlie, Ida and Grace Hardin
Tom, Issac, Bryan and Charlie
Esther, Lula, Charles and Bryan Hardin
Etta Trapp, Jack Trapp and Charles Hardin, first cousins
In the midst of the depression, they were living in New Mexico and had very little to spare. Relatives Jack and Etta Trapp (Jack’s mother, Eugenia and Charles’ mother Lula were sisters) had been told that there were jobs in California as well as food and sunshine. They decided to move together. Etta Trapp’s sister, Cora and Carl Smithers had already moved to California so there was a safe place to land. My mother said her father drove them to California in his Model T.
Cora and Carl Smithers
Upon arrival in California, the family camped underneath the Woodson Bridge in Corning. My mother, while embarrassed that they had been homeless when they arrived, said that everyone was doing that, camping out. She returned to the bridge when she was married and living in the area.
Charles, Virginia, Ruby, Kay and Flora in the California sunshine, holding a fresh picked orange
So while Charles never again lived in Alabama or near his family, he found ways to keep them close. His brother Bryan made numerous trips to California and spent vacations and miles on the road with Flora and Charles. They became really close.
Charles, Flora, Lilly and Bryan
Bryan, Flora, Charles traveling by train, Stockton, CA
Bryan, Lilly, Charles on Carpenter Road, Stockton, CA
Charles, sister Thelma, Ed Holmes
Flora and Charles moved to a number of California cities, including Yuba City, Fresno and finally Stockton. They lived on Sierra Nevada, Alpine Avenue and Carpenter Road. My grandfather built the house on Alpine. He also helped build the house on Carpenter Road. Charles worked for several train lines including the Southern Pacific RR, Western Pacific RR, Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe RR.
While Charles worked to make a living for his family, there was another side of him that Flora must have had a difficult time with. He liked to drink and he smoked a pipe or cigar. He also liked to hang out at the bar. While Flora was busy going from church to church (always looking for a home), Charles liked to hang out at a bar, watch baseball and have a drink.
Dick Paulson, Charles, Kay, Jubie holding Tim Jr., Tim holding Cammie, Ray, Jeannie, (front row Sam, Sally, Cindy and Bobby)
Their marriage wasn’t easy and at one point they split up. It makes me sad but I can’t judge either of them. I am sure Flora wasn’t easy to live with and at times Charles wasn’t working. I think it is often a decision to marry in haste that comes home to roost. But those are the facts, you can’t change them.
My mother enjoyed a special relationship with her father. She was the apple of his eye. He was the one that called her Jubie and her name fit. He loved her as greatly as he could and she was devoted to him.
Charles and Jubie
I wish I had known him. I have to be satisfied that my mother always said I had a big heart, just like my Grandpa Hardin and that he would have loved me. I was very close to my Uncle Bryan and my mother used to say if she closed her eyes, listening to Uncle Bryan talk was like listening to Grandpa Hardin. That slow southern drawl must have stayed with him. Hard to miss something you never had, but that is something I missed out on, having a grandfather that I could have been close to.
I think Grandpa Hardin was a genial sort of guy. He was a guy that you could sit and have a drink with and chat about sports. I know my dad liked him. Charles Hardin died of a heart attack on December 29, 1960. Three of the barmaids from the bar that he frequented attended his funeral. That probably didn’t sit well with Flora, but Charles went out loved by all sorts of people.
Charles Jackson Hardin
The Tulsa History Center allowed me to use the page from the Race Riot on their website…to learn more, you can find them here
Virginia Lois Hardin was born on April 13, 1926. She was born the middle child of Flora Burgess and Charles J. Hardin.
This picture was taken in Alabama. Aunt Jean is the baby in the top row, fourth from the left. These are some of Grandpa Hardin’s siblings, his parents, grandparents and the little girl standing on the far left is Aunt Kay.
She must have been a charmer as a baby and she was a charmer her entire life.
Aunt Jean is on the left, my momma in the middle and Aunt Kay on the right.
She was born in Washington State and as her father worked for the railroad, they moved a lot. Her younger sister Jubie was born in Texas before they lived in New Mexico. By about 1935, in the midst of the Great Depression, they moved in their Touring Dodge to California. They moved out with two other families, the Coates family and the McDonald family. They all came to California because Grandpa Hardin had cousins, Jack and Etta Trapp, who were already living in there. They moved to Corning.
Jeannie, Jubie and Kay
Those girls must have been very excited to leave the dust bowl behind. The 1930’s was a period of time when severe dust storms damaged the agriculture on the prairies in middle America and over two hundred thousand people came to California. Because so many people were flooding in, many camped wherever they could until they were able to get established. For the Hardins, it was underneath Woodson Bridge. Now this area is a State Park but in the 1930’s, everyone just camped next to the river.
Jeannie always made everything fun. Jubie would say it didn’t matter what Jeannie had to do, she would make a game of it and Jubie grew up very close to her sister.
Charles, Flora, Jeannie and Jubie
They lived in Corning for three years, then the family moved to Yuba City. They were there for about three years too, then to Fresno for a couple more. At that point, her older sister Kay went off to boarding school and it was just Jeannie and Jubie at home. They moved to Riverdale where her father gave a try at farming cotton and alfalfa. After, her mother bought a house in Fresno. It was the first house the family had owned.
The girls were allowed to travel by train alone and, well, it’s probably best if Jubie tells you about it.
Jubie thought Jeannie knew everything there was to know about life and how to work it to her advantage. Needless to say, Jubie learned a lot from her.
Charles, Kay, Flora, Jubie, Bob Condit and Jeannie
Jeannie got married in 1943 at the tender age of 17 to Bob Condit and she stayed with him until she was 19. Her first child, Robert Charles Condit was born on July 18, 1945. Bob Condit got out of the service on a medical discharge and he wanted to move Jeannie back to Iowa. Jeannie stayed there for about six months before she and Bobby came home. She never went back and she and Bob divorced.
When Grandma Flora moved to Stockton, Jeannie came here too. Bobby was just a little kid when Grandma started watching him. Grandpa Hardin was working at the railroad. When Grandma Flora wanted to go back to work, they thought she was too old to hire as a secretary and that is when she got into the Shaklee business.
Raymond Kosich was born on January 24, 1923 in Oakland, CA to Sam and Eva Kosich. Sam Kosich was born in Yugoslavia and Eva’s family was from Sutter Creek, CA.
Ray Kosich, 1931
I am very fortunate that my cousin Jim shared with me all of the history, photographs and everything he had of his fathers. When I look at Uncle Ray as a child, he looks just like my cousins Sam and John.
Ray’s father was the Manager of Tiny’s Waffle House, located at 27 N. Sutter Street in Stockton.
They were a very old-time Stockton couple, back when Stockton was in its heyday. He was an only child and very adored. Uncle Ray attended University of the Pacific in 1943 and became a member of Omega Phi Alpha
Ray enlisted in the Finance Department of the US Army on November 27, 1942 at the age of 19 and he received a Bronze star
Jeanie and Ray married on October 18, 1948 in Carson City, Nevada. Their first baby, Sallie Jean Kosich, was born on September 6, 1949, the same year Big Sam Kosich, Ray’s father, passed away.
Ray took over at Tiny’s Waffle Shop and they moved to 3 East McKenzie where they would live for the rest of their married life. They had so many families that the Kosich kids grew up with including the Jacksons (I thought they were our family too because their last name was so close), the Stovers and the Whittens. Their entire lives revolved around that street and those kids could walk into every house in the neighborhood and be treated just like they were family.
Jeannie, then Jeannie, Jubie, Sallie and Bobby and Jeannie holding Sallie
Ray eventually bought the restaurant and on October 11th, 1952 Samuel Raymond Kosich was born.
Bobby, Sallie, Sam and Jeannie
Ray eventually opened a private investigation business along with Jeannie and they worked cases together.
This is Uncle Ray and Aunt Jean in the front yard of 3 East McKenzie.
Sam, Jeannie and Ray
James Randall Kosich was born on July 30, 1960 and John Steven Kosich was born on December 9, 1961, forever to be called the little boys.
Uncle Ray holding Johnny, Sally, Bobby, Cindy, Uncle Dick, Daddy, then Aunt Jean holding Jimmy, Sam, Grandma Flora, Kevin and Kendall Paulsen held by Aunt Kay then Momma holding Jackie and Laurie, Cammie and Timmy.
Aunt Jean is so stylish here, just beautiful!
Uncle Ray and Johnny
Dinner at Flora’s house.
Aunt Kay, Uncle Dick, Bobby, Cindy, Flora, Charles, Ray, Jeannie, Sallie, Sam, Tim, Jubie Cammie and Timmy taken at Kay’s house warming.
Me and Uncle Ray when I was about a year and a half.
This is one of the last pictures of our family. It is very blurry but also precious at the same time. Ray Kosich died on May 2, 1971 at the age of 48 from a heart attack. To say that he was gone too soon would be an understatement and his leaving left a void in their family too great to comprehend. My cousin John recently spoke about his brother Sam coming to tell him and Jim, ages 10 and 11, that their father had died and how difficult it was and how much Sam tried to step in for his father to be a great big brother to them.
There are times in life when it would be so nice to be able to hit a pause button, to be able to stop where we are and hold those that we love close and refuse to let those moments turn into memories.
Jeannie moved closer to her mother in Nevada City, CA and the boys (can’t help myself) went to school there before moving to San Jose, closer to her sister Jubie. It was difficult for Jeannie and she gave of herself to the best of her ability.
I always think of my Aunt Jean when I watch the movie Terms of Endearment. In one of the last scenes of the movie, the character played by Shirley MacClaine, starts ranting until the nurse gives her daughter the shot of morphine. If there was something that seemed impossible to do, Aunt Jean would be the person to get it accomplished. She could talk her way into and out of situations that would have bent the spine of a lesser person.
My favorite Aunt Jean story is when she came to the house one time and really wanted to help Jubie so she let Jeanie make the biscuits for breakfast. We get to the breakfast table, the biscuits looked hard and terrible and my dad says, “Jub, what in the hell did you do to the biscuits?” Momma gave him a look and said we’ll talk about it later. He was so used to my mother’s cooking he didn’t like when anyone else cooked but especially biscuits. Dad couldn’t let it go. and finally my mother had to say Jeannie made the biscuits and everyone just laughed. Aunt Jean didn’t really inherit the cooking genes like Jubie did.
We stayed very close to our cousins and so much of our shared childhood. It was often a game of “Got You Last” or if the “Kosich Brats” went to get flu shots with the “Jacques’ Brats” and Johnny fainting when he got his shot will always leave a lasting memory. Driving up to Grandma Flora’s house and praying all the way that it would snow (the next morning it snowed so much there was a faint line of green where my parent’s car had been). Sitting next to each other at the children’s table and then having to wait while Grandma or Pappy said the blessing and wondering who would laugh first before they finished. Sleeping in the tee pee that Grandma had made for us then having to sleep in the house because Johnny was afraid. (Oh yes, Johnny will say it wasn’t him but trust me, he was too afraid for sleeping outside of Grandma’s house).
Virginia Lois Kosich passed away on October 14, 1990 and is buried at Cherokee Memorial Cemetery.
We got together when my cousin Bobby passed away in Iowa on September 27, 2003 and we remaining kids had a dinner to honor his memory.
Johnny, Laurie, myself, Sam, Jim, Jackie and Tim at that event.
Jim, Mary, Little Johnny, Amanda, Allison, Dad, Jake, Donna and John on my dad’s 75th birthday.
My cousin Jim had married a lovely girl by the name of Mary and had two beautiful girls, Amanda and Jennifer. He passed away way too early in 2012 at the age of 52. He wrote to me in 2009 because he had found a picture of Grandma Flora on my Ancestry.com page and he said he just knew it had to be me that had put that up. I laughed and he began to share that he was starting to do some research on his Grandma Eva’s heritage and then he sent me all of the photographs of Uncle Ray on this page along with the recording of his father. I am so glad he shared that with me and I will continue to research some of Eva’s heritage for him.
My cousin Sally still lives here in Stockton, is married, and has two sons and 4 grandchildren.
Johnny is also married, lives in Stockton and has three children: John Jr., Allison and Jake.
Jackie and Johnny
Last year I helped my cousin Sam get his Native American I.D. card and saw him several times throughout the year. He passed away unexpectedly in July of 2015. It was so sudden and I just wasn’t prepared to have him leave us so soon.
Sam and his best friend Shiela
Virginia Lois Kosich and Raymond Samuel Kosich left a lasting legacy. Humans struggle with life and they were no different but they produced great children and as far as I can see their grandchildren are going to be spectacular people and it will go on and on.
Before I start, I just have to say happy first anniversary to my blog. I was so surprised that it had been a year since I had started writing it. I have made friends and relatives that I would never have met if it weren’t for this blog and I have enjoyed it immensely. I look forward to the coming year and getting to know more of our ancestors.
It fills me with pride to bring you our family Veteran’s post 2014.
We thank each and every veteran from the bottom of our hearts for your service, sacrifice and we salute you!
Timothy Celestino Jacques – WWII
In 1942, Timothy enlisted at the age of 15 into the Merchant Marines with his mother’s permission. I don’t know about anyone else but I have a tough time letting my teen son go to the store alone, so Tonita must have been terrified and yet confident at the same time. Of course, my dad would say he was already grown at the age of 15.
This is one of the training schools he attended. As you can see, he was at the top of his class. Dad said his brothers and his brother in law Sam Saiz taught him everything about being a mechanic.
After the Merchant Marines, he joined the Army. He went through basic then traveled to Japan and Australia. He was undecided when his last tour was up if he would re-sign or if he would return to his home in Stockton. He finally decided to leave the army and the following month the unit he had been with left for Korea. Thanks, Daddy, for your service.
Gregory L. Quintana – Vietnam
My father and Greg’s mother, Viola Springall, were double first cousins. Most of the people on my tree that I talk about are deceased. However, I really wanted to include Greg. He served from 1966 to 1971 in the United States Air Force and was in Vietnam in 1968. I am glad you are not just a leaf on our tree and that we can say, “Thank you for your Service.”
Valentin Archuleta – WWII
He and my father were also double first cousins (and a brother to Viola). He, too, served in WWII. This article is from the Farmington Times and was published on August 21, 2009. FARMINGTON — Telesforo “Archie” Archuleta was a survivor. But to his family and friends, he also was a hero.
The Blanco resident witnessed some of history’s most famous and horrific events.
He not only survived the Battle of Bataan, the Bataan Death March and 40 months as a prisoner of war of the Japanese army during World War II, but he helped others to survive.
Archuleta, 94, died peacefully Thursday at home in Blanco.
Born on Nov. 5, 1914, Archuleta was raised on a ranch in Blanco.
His mother died when he was 14 years old and he left school to care for his younger siblings.
Archuleta entered the U.S. Army on Nov. 21, 1941, and was assigned to Battery G 200th Coast Artillery, as part of the Asiatic Pacific Theater.
He was a member of a Coast Artillery gun crew and received two campaign stars for operations in the Pacific theater.
He was captured by the Japanese during the three-month Battle of Bataan and became a prisoner of war.
Archuleta was forced to march 60 miles along the peninsula to prison camps during The Bataan Death March in 1942.
He was sent on a “hell ship” from the Philippines to Japan to mine ore and coal for the Japanese war effort because he was one of the stronger prisoners.
Approximately 75,000 American and Filipino prisoners of war captured by the Japanese were forced to march.
The article continues
Approximately 1,800 men from New Mexico were sent to the Philippines and 900 survived the battle for Bataan, the death march and the months spent in prisoner of war camps.
“He survived because
he said he had to keep
the younger boys alive,” Archuleta’s daughter Caroline Poore said.
Archuleta returned from the war in 1945.
When his sisters went to The Presidio in San Francisco after Archuleta arrived on a ship, they couldn’t find him even though officials ensured them he was there.
“He was so decimated and sick, they didn’t recognize their own brother,” Poore said. A man who averaged 150 to 160 pounds only weighed 78 pounds when he was rescued.
Archuleta recuperated enough to come home to Blanco and marry Tonita Archuleta on Dec. 3, 1945, before he was sent to a hospital in San Antonio to continue his recovery.
He suffered hearing loss from continued beatings to his head and balance problems, Poore said. He dealt with starvation and suffered every disease from dysentery to malaria while a POW.
He never spoke of his time in the prison camp or about the horrors he witnessed during the war.
It wasn’t until years later that his family learned about his heroic efforts.
Charlie Sanchez, a fellow POW, told the family on Archuleta’s 50th wedding anniversary, how his life was saved on the hell ship.
The ships were packed so tightly and there was no air, water or food. If a man slipped and fell down, he would get suffocated, Poore said.
“Dad tied (Sanchez’s) belt to his own and held him up throughout the trip,” Poore said.
Poore and her sister, Erlinda Miller, recalled another story of Archuleta helping another prisoner.
Many of the men who worked in the mines didn’t have shoes. Often they would suffer from frostbite and gangrene and eventually die.
Archuleta would weather proof his shoes with ball joint grease and, as he walked out of the mines, he would slip his shoes to fellow prisoner Pat Boone, who didn’t have any, Poore said
He kept the stories to himself, his daughters said.
“One summer, when we were kids and complaining about what we were eating, my father slammed his hands on the table making the plates jump,” Miller said.
“Listen here,’ my dad said, if you ever had to eat a rat, you would never complain about what you had to eat,'” Miller said.
Archuleta returned a quiet man who had high morals and standards, his daughter said.
“He was a very strong person and a very strong willed person,” Poore said. “He always worked hard his whole life.”
Now that is an amazing story and I am so proud to have that person on my tree. Thank you for your service.
Onofre Reyes Jaquez WWI
Onofre Reyes Jaquez trained at Camp Kearny in San Diego, CA and also trained in Camp Funston in Junction City, Kansas. Thank you for your service.
Jobe Douglas Hardin – American Civil War
Job Hardin is a brother to Ambers Hardin, who was my grandfather Charles Hardin’s great uncle. He served in the 40th Alabama Regiment as a Private in Company K and participated in the Battle of Vicksburg. Thank you for your service.
Peter Dunkin – Revolutionary War
Peter Dunkin is a grandfather to Mary Elizabeth Dunkin and a great-great grandfather to Charles Hardin. He served in the 10th Regiment of Sargent Sharp’s Company. Thank you for your service.
This is just the tip of the ice berg. There are many heroes who sacrificed their time and in some cases their lives to continue the way of life that we have carved out, one day at a time. To the many women and men who have served more recently, please stay safe and Thank you for your service.
Leaving our Native American heritage for a moment, I am going to pick up with Mary Elizabeth Duncan Young, in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.
She is otherwise known as Grandma Young, according to Great Uncle Brian.
When I was twelve, we (me and Jackie, just for clarity’s sake, although whenever I say we it is always me and Jackie!) traveled to Alabama with Momma and Daddy. We were on a trip to Florida to visit my Aunt Fran and Uncle Don. Not relatives, but an Aunt and Uncle just the same. We stopped in Alabama to spend the night. My mother had the very Irish appearance of red hair, bright blue eyes and freckles. She also had alabaster skin and no Native American blood seemed to have touched her. Her Irish blood came through loud and clear. On this trip, we stayed with Uncle Brian and Aunt Lilly. Uncle Brian took us to meet his brother, Uncle Tom, but before that, we made a trip to the cemetery. My father would make driving through a cemetery fun. We would read the headstones as we went and I would think about the people who were buried there, what their lives were like, who they were and how you could encapsulate a lifetime in a few words on a stone. No wonder I grew up to appreciate a good cemetery trip the way I do.
Anyway, while we were in Alabama we stopped at the cemetery to visit Grandma Young.
She was born June 30, 1843 in Bacon Level, Alabama. According to her Civil War Pension record her father’s name was spelled John S. Dunkin. She was married to George Washington Young (he was called G.W. and it must have been a popular name during that time) and by the time the Civil War rolls around, she was married and a mother. Her husband served in the Civil War in Georgia. She went on to raise 7 children over a span of 15 years.
When I got my results back from my DNA test, I had almost 400 matches to sift through. I found a match for three people who are matches to each other and to myself. The best family line that seems to match all four of us is the Duncan (Dunkin) line. John S. Duncan (Dunkin) is the son of a Peter and Margaret Dunkin. They moved from South Carolina to Coweta, GA between 1812 and 1828 and (pausing here for dramatic effect…) John S. Duncan won land in the Cherokee Land Lottery. In the 1870 Census, John S. Dunkin is listed as a wagon maker and working with Reason Mobley, brother of his wife, Lucretia Duncan.
Now, where was Benjamin Marshall from? Coweta, Georgia, you say? Always the damn Indians! So, one side of my heritage prospered from the other side’s misery. John S. Dunkin married Elizabeth Mobley in 1825 and in the 1832 Cherokee Land Lottery, he was the winner. The poor Marshall family was not the winner.
Back in Alabama to finish the cemetery story, my dad saw a man climb into a pick up truck and drive away from the cemetery as we arrived. After we visited the graves and Grandma Young, Uncle Brian took us to visit Uncle Tom. As soon as we pulled up to Uncle Tom’s house my dad said he had just seen that pick up leave the cemetery as we arrived and didn’t know it was Uncle Tom. So Grandma Young was as big a draw at the cemetery as she was in life.
The youngest child standing on the left in front is my Aunt Kay, then Grandma Lula Hardin and next to her is Grandma Young. The first man on the left, holding the small child is Great Uncle Tom, then my Grandpa Hardin, then next is Great Uncle Brian’s first wife, Marnie holding my Aunt Jean, then my Great Uncle Brian and at the end of the standing row is Alfred Hardin.
When I look at Grandma Lula (Mary’s daughter), I picture my mother’s face. So when I look at Mary’s picture, I can see her with red hair and bright blue eyes.
So, even though my daughter doesn’t believe that she is Irish (her coloring tends to favor the Native American/Hispanic in her genes) this is how it works:
Hailey J. Marie Bennett
Yvonne Annette Jacques-Bennett
Ruby May Hardin
Charles Jackson Hardin
Georgia Tallulah Young Hardin
Mary Elizabeth Dunkin Young
See, Hailey, our Irish heritage is right there, on the tree, between the leaves, plain for everyone to see.
My momma favored her Grandma Lula and Grandma Lula looked just like Mary Elizabeth Dunkin Young.
The Ancestry Angel 